Hell hath no fury like a stolen burrito.
"Look at this photograph. Everytime I do it makes me laugh too, but let's be serious for a second. Are these the suspects, kid? Did you actually see Nickelback leaving your dorm?"
Plus, the marker industry is making a killing.
Cat Steals Peanut
Robber Attempts Stickup With Palm Tree
He was never your flamingo, nobody can own Lawrence!
Step 3 - Profit.
Stolen iPod Touch Commercial
"McDonald's had to close down the next morning."

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