CollegeHumor: Timeline http://www.collegehumor.com/tag/timeline Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /picture/6737355 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/6737355/how-not-to-remove-your-timeline How Not to Remove Your Timeline Thu, 08 Mar 2012 06:22:06 -0500 /article/6693600 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6693600/an-honest-guide-to-every-facebook-timeline-ever An Honest Guide to Every Facebook Timeline Ever Wed, 18 Jan 2012 02:49:43 -0500

]]> /article/3514990 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3514990/the-post-collegiate-path-of-the-aspiring-novelist The Post-Collegiate Path of the Aspiring Novelist Mon, 28 Jul 2008 23:45:34 -0400 Age 21: “Now that I finally don’t have to worry about finishing all this schoolwork, I should have plenty of time to work on my novel. This is great!”

Age 22: “Wow, I forgot how long it takes to beat Super Mario 3…”

Age 23: “Watching all the seasons of Lost back-to-back should help give me some ideas on how to develop my characters.”

Age 25: “I’ll just take this T.G.I. Friday’s gig to pay the bills before my writing career really takes off.”

Age 27: “You know, J.D. Salinger didn’t publish Catcher in the Rye until he was 32, so I’ve still got a good five years to finish my masterpiece.”

Age 29: “Really? You think I’m assistant manager material? Yes, I can say ‘In here it’s always Friday’ with a straight face. You won’t regret this, Mr. Johansson!”

Age 32: “I think I’m going to make the protagonist an assistant manager at T.G.I. Friday’s. That’s something a lot of people can relate to, right?”

Age 34: “Marrying Jennifer is going to provide me with so much more material to write about. Plus, she said her dad is going to hook me up with a cushy job at his company. I hope it’s a publishing firm.”

Age 34.5: It’s not.

Age 37: “Jimmy, I swear, if you don’t finish your peas, you’re not getting an advanced signed copy of daddy’s book.”

Age 41: “I think I’m going to make the protagonist a data entry clerk at a law firm and the antagonist an overbearing hypercritical father-in-law who has no faith in the clerk’s writing ability. That’s something a lot of people can relate to, right?”

Age 45: “I’ve got it! The Shrinking Stars. It’s perfect. Phew, well, I think I’ve earned myself a break. Honey, do we still have Super Mario 3?”

Age 49: “Please, dear, we just had sex last month, now I’m trying to write…oh, fine…”

Age 55: “I’ve always thought of novels as more of a retirement thing anyway.”

Age 58: “Listen to me, Jim, you are not changing your major to English. I don’t care how much your professors like your writing, this is not a good path to go down. Let’s just stick to accounting like we planned, ok?”

Age 61: “Alright, Jenn, I think it’s time we kicked Jim out of the house. It’s obvious this novel of his isn’t going anywhere.”

Age 65: “What’s that Jim? You say it’s going to be published? Wow, that’s just…that’s just great, son, it really is. I guess writing must run in the family, huh? Haha. Well, no, I never actually published anything, but I’ve still got a few projects I’m working on. So who’d you dedicate the book to again?”

Age 70: “Yup, I had a nice writing career laid out for me for a while, but I’ll tell ya, once I had Jim I really just got so involved with being a dad everything else sort of fell by the wayside, you know? Well, no, he hasn’t dedicated one of them to me yet, but I’m sure he will soon. I have always supported him, after all.”
...]]> /article/2202739 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/2202739/joke-hat-becomes-real-hat Joke Hat Becomes Real Hat Mon, 06 Aug 2007 17:34:34 -0400

Hey…hey guys, check out this hat! Haha. What’s cookin’ good lookin’? Brotha, can ya spare a dime? So funny. Oh man, can you believe, like, our grandfathers wore this kind of retarded hat around for real? Man, how they managed to find girls willing to bone them is beyond me! Why I oughta! Haha. Oh man, I can’t believe this was just laying around! This hat is so mine.
...]]> /article/1828223 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1828223/underneath-it-all Underneath It All Wed, 25 Jul 2007 11:26:02 -0400
]]> /article/1143620 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1143620/excerpts-from-a-gen-ed-law-class Excerpts From A Gen Ed. Law Class Fri, 08 Jun 2007 11:35:12 -0400 The end of class, day one.



Professor: (chuckling) And now you’ll know, ladies and gentleman, the next time you get pulled over, and the police officer asks if he can search your car that you can tell him, politely of course, not without probable cause sir, I know my fourth amendment rights.
...]]> /article/1035824 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1035824/the-real-world---what-to-expect The Real World - What to Expect Fri, 11 May 2007 12:24:49 -0400 It’s that time of year again, where many students are harshly thrown from the comfort of their off-campus housing, back to the towns and cities from whence they came. Young men and women across the nation become nervous as they head towards the inevitable next step: The Real World.

...]]> /article/989997 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/989997/two-week-window Two-Week Window Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:00:45 -0400 I think we’ve all experienced at one time or another in our lives the girl we like a lot but become friends with first. The first two weeks are crucial if you’re trying to get with her. At the end of two weeks if you haven’t told her how you feel, you’ve entered “Friendship Stage” and there’s no chance of you two ever being together, that window of opportunity has closed forever!
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