Turtle Can't Eat the Tomato video Turtle Can't Eat the Tomato

He's the turtle version of Sisyphus. His owner cursed him to try and eat a cherry tomato for all eternity, or until his mom finds out and gives him some lettuce.

Techno Turtle video Techno Turtle

They say some turtle raves can live for up to 200 years if the ecstasy doesn't run out.

Humping Turtle Says "Wow" video Humping Turtle Says "Wow"

He still can't believe he's sleeping with Samantha Williamson. She's the hottest turtle in the zoo.

Mom, look! The turtles are building a pyramid! picture Mom, look! The turtles are building a pyramid!
Turtle Power video Turtle Power

If this were Planet Earth, it would be followed by a shot of an alligator eating the turtle.

They call it a turtle burger because after you finish you can barely move. picture They call it a turtle burger because after you finish you can barely move.
Baby Ankylosaurus video Baby Ankylosaurus

This is either the cutest baby dinosaur ever or the ultimate turtle.

Oh slower! Even slower! SLOWER! picture Oh slower! Even slower! SLOWER!
"Let's just hope it never acquires super powers." picture "Let's just hope it never acquires super powers."
This piece is called, "Screech and Lisa Turtle." picture This piece is called, "Screech and Lisa Turtle."
Dog Rides Turtle video Dog Rides Turtle

Every puppy goes through the "turtle stage" before they learn to walk on their own.

Turtle Shows His O-Face video Turtle Shows His O-Face

Things get really kinky when the pizza delivery turtle shows up.

Ninja turtles are a lot smaller than I expected. picture Ninja turtles are a lot smaller than I expected.
What's he doing?!? It clearly says do not tap! picture What's he doing?!? It clearly says do not tap!
Hyia, HYIA! Go boy, HYIAAA! picture Hyia, HYIA! Go boy, HYIAAA!
He can't wait to get the shell out of there. picture He can't wait to get the shell out of there.
Kitten Rides Turtle video Kitten Rides Turtle

The most adorable version of The Tortoise and the Hare.

Goodbye Teenage Mutant Ninjas. Hello Breakdancing Turtle. picture Goodbye Teenage Mutant Ninjas. Hello Breakdancing Turtle.
Turtle Steals Barbeque video Turtle Steals Barbeque

Slow and steady steals the grill.

Turtle Wants to Be Friends with Cat video Turtle Wants to Be Friends with Cat

Someone get this turtle a copy of "He's Just Not That Into You."