"Turtle" Video

That Rolling Stones song, "Satisfaction," was actually written about this turtle. They were on a lot of drugs.

Just like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, except not mutant or ninja, and their age is ambiguous.

"Now the only thing watermelon-like in here is our big watermelon-shaped heads."

The express caribou was out of service. Because it was eaten by lions.

"You'll tell no one about this if you want to keep all of your toes."

Either way, they're reppin' the 'tiles.

From Parry Gripp

Three crickets and a tub of Ben and Jerry's ago it would have fit.

Radical! Well, sort of.

How do you know if your pets are ready to re-enact Star Wars? When you're lonely enough, you'll know.

Designers love working with him because he's naturally dashing and fierce. That being said, he could stand to lose a few inches in the shell area.

"'Turtle?' You must be talking about the actor, Jerry Ferrara. Who I would know nothing about, because I'm a stool and definitely not a turtle."

He had been saying that their love-making was getting too routine, so it's nice to see them trying new things.

He clearly didn't know what he was getting into.

He'd fit if he hadn't eaten the dog.

He still can't believe he's sleeping with Samantha Williamson. She's the hottest turtle in the zoo.

Awww, he's making other animals his slaves.

I dream of a world where all species will be able to put aside their differences, and enjoy cereal together.

Slow and steady steals the grill.

He's a teenage normal normal turtle.

He's a teenage normal normal turtle.