CollegeHumor: Untapped Resources http://www.collegehumor.com/tag/untapped-resources Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /article/1054493 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1054493/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Tue, 15 May 2007 17:33:31 -0400


Welcome back home. Summer vacation is in full swing- much like your flaccid penis. You’ve unpacked most of your crap, and you’ve watched 9 hours of baseball today alone, it’s time to get out there and get your D wet. May I suggest your local pool club? No, I’m not being a dick, you’re going to bone a lifeguard.
...]]> /article/955701 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/955701/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Tue, 24 Apr 2007 11:09:13 -0400


So you’re sitting in your room right now. Your roommate is at class. He’s not coming back for at least an hour and a half. You don’t have anything to do the rest of the day. Sure you have a lecture this afternoon but you can get the notes from someone. Come on. I know someone you’ve been neglecting for too long. The well that never runs dry, the gift that keeps giving, it’s time to reunite your penis with your hand.
...]]> /article/853936 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/853936/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Wed, 04 Apr 2007 10:05:44 -0400


Hey guys, sorry I’ve let your d*cks stay dry for this long. Let’s not waste any more time. I’ve gotten you inside a plethora of women this year, but there’s one girl we’ve been neglecting. And, friend, her time is now. It’s time to bang your girlfriend.
...]]> /article/654247 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/654247/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Tue, 20 Feb 2007 15:01:53 -0500

So for Valentine’s Day you wore a red t-shirt while you sat and masturbated on your computer. Well you’re in luck my boner-achieved-from-actual-female-contact deprived friend. There is a way to cash in on post Valentine’s Day ass.
...]]> /article/567835 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/567835/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Tue, 06 Feb 2007 11:29:21 -0500




So you’re the nice guy, the guy who always accidentally becomes a girl’s best friend. The guy she goes to to complain about all the douche bags that treat her wrong. What these girls don’t know is that you secretly derive pleasure out of your sympathetic embraces. And as you gently wipe tears away from wet cheeks, all you’re thinking about is wild, un-hinged, animalistic sex. Let’s get you some.
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This is an Untapped Resource to keep on the back burner, just to cover your bases. We’ve all been at family parties, bored out of minds, watching our Dad’s get drunk and our sisters get eye-banged by our creepy uncles. Well now I’ve got something for you to do at these family functions: Your increasingly beautiful cousin who is not actually related to you by blood. We all have them; they’re our mother’s sister’s husband’s sister’s daughters. Or something similar. Here’s what to do.
...]]> /article/242542 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/242542/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Tue, 09 Jan 2007 11:07:22 -0500

Welcome back to school. Welcome back to mini fridges and microwaves, bunked beds and shower sandals. Welcome back to brittle toilet paper and scrounging up change Wendy’s Chicken Nuggets. But most importantly, welcome back to the never ending stream of ass at your disposal, if you look in the right places. Let’s get started right away, you’re on the shuttle bus going back to your dorm, the driver is a woman.
...]]> /article/234940 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/234940/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Tue, 02 Jan 2007 09:16:58 -0500

So vacation is almost over and you really need something to brag to your roommate about. Unfortunately all you’ve really done is have sex with your ex-girlfriend and then check her away message everyday to see if she used a Goo Goo...]]> /article/222065 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/222065/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Tue, 19 Dec 2006 10:48:20 -0500



Ah, Winter Break. After just a few days you’ve realized everything you’ve taken for granted all semester. Cheap beer, really easy access to narcotics and, of course, a plethora of ripe, inebriated, and most importantly- willing, freshmen. Who do you turn to when your penis is soft and lonely? The answer is simple. Your ex-girlfriend.
...]]> /article/212476 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/212476/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Tue, 12 Dec 2006 11:03:19 -0500




Well you’ve had a productive semester. Not academically, but vaginally speaking, you didn’t do too bad. But this was the easy part. How are you going to get ass while you’re home? The answer is simple my friend: Turn to your oddly attractive female best friend.
...]]> /article/201190 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/201190/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Mon, 04 Dec 2006 12:21:45 -0500


People on campus will tell you, “clubs are gay.” You may have considered this sound advice since it came from your roommate, the gayest guy you know. The thing is, if all guys are operating under the assumption that all clubs are “gay” then doesn’t that leave only chicks going to meetings?
...]]> /article/193729 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/193729/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:01:11 -0500

How many times have you skipped out on a study group to stay in your room and jerk off, eat Hostess cupcakes, then jerk off again using the cream filling for lubricant. Even if you haven’t, doesn’t that sound tempting? But there is inde...]]> /article/178519 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/178519/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Mon, 13 Nov 2006 16:11:46 -0500

So it’s been a long week of avoiding papers, trying to fit 40’s into your mini-fridge, and in all likelihood, masturbating feverishly every time your roommate goes to class. Well it’s high time you ejaculated into vagina rather t...]]> /article/170598 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/170598/jake-explains-it-all Jake Explains It All Tue, 07 Nov 2006 11:51:00 -0500

So you’re in class when you realize you have a boner. “Oh no,” you think, “I hope I don’t get called up to the board!” Then you realize that this isn’t 8th grade and that no one gets called up to the boar...]]>