CollegeHumor: Virgin

Untitled 0

Wed, 19 Jan 2011 16:57:16 -0500

If you find his virginity, please be kind and bury it deep in the woods.

Untitled 1

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 00:31:51 -0400

The virgin is mobile. I repeat. The virgin is mobile.

Untitled 2

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:41:42 -0400

It's absolutely NOTHING like a snake. It's actually much more like a caterpillar cacoon.

Untitled 3

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:35:57 -0500

She's obviously talking about getting her ear pierced.

Untitled 4

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 19:44:23 -0500

So if we figure out a way to immaculately conceive children it'll be Christmas everyday!

Untitled 5

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:51:00 -0400

A V-Card for a fake ID? I've seen worse deals.

Untitled 6

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 01:34:16 -0400

Virgins can eat some of the frosting left in the plastic cup. It's soaking wet and at the bottom of the trash can.

Untitled 7

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 00:11:42 -0400

Finally, born-again virgins can start fresh!

Untitled 8

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:33:36 -0400

By wearing those shirts they're only making guys want them infinitely more.

Untitled 9

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 05:23:11 -0400

Here lies Saint Virgin.

Oh, how I envy you, King of Swaziland

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 23:43:28 -0400

I couldn't locate your country on a map, but you sure make the best news headlines

Voicemails from the Freshman Virgin Who Just Doesn't Get It

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 03:08:44 -0400

Hi Ben, it’s Mindy. What’s up? It was nice meeting you at the Beta party. The beach theme was fun. So cool you guys had sand in the house. I bet it was a pain to clean up. So thanks for walking me back to my dorm room. Sorry I kicked you out when my roommate got back, but you know how it is…anyway we should hang out, get some dinner sometime. Give me a call.
...

Untitled 12

Tue, 15 May 2007 19:11:14 -0400
"He lost his virginity, so we baked him a cake."

Untitled 13

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 03:34:55 -0500
"The Fingering of Virginal Music"

Untitled 14

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 15:54:04 -0500
"My friend finally lost her virginity, and so I made her a cake, complete with cherry laffy-taffy labia and chocolate-sprinkle pubes." I don't see the cherry, I guess someone lost it.

Untitled 15

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 15:08:29 -0400
I can't decide who I hate more - him or the two girls who are putting up with him.

Untitled 16

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 15:52:39 -0400
You'll thank them one day - this sex thing you keep hearing about lives up to the hype.

Untitled 17

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 22:51:53 -0400
Anything But Clothes fundraiser this weekend.

Untitled 18

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 09:59:10 -0500
35 seems a little old for public indecency. I'm sure whoever was around you would agree.

Untitled 19

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 16:15:03 -0400
Ashley, you may be too nostalgic.