Professor GIF: The Gaza Crisis Explained In 3 Facts and 16 GIFs

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 21:59:33 -0500

The world is a confusing place, so let Professor GIF explain the most befuddling topics through the magic of animated GIFs.

IN THIS ISSUE: Three easy facts and sixteen hilarious GIFs explaining the entire Gaza crisis you heard about but don't understand.

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The Many Deaths of Toby, the Wolverine Mascot from Red Dawn

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 17:24:02 -0500

1. Moonwalked into a minefield.

2. Failed to give correct password to a sentry. Handler explained mascots don't speak. Handler was also shot on the spot.

Freedom and Hockey!

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 15:21:35 -0400

It's what this country was founded on.

TLDNR: Surrender, Animals!

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 17:18:18 -0400

From: The Grand War Council of the Army of Humanity
To: All the Kingdoms of Animalia still at War with Humanity

Animals, we, the human race, beseech you: end this needless war! For billions of years we have battled for supremacy and the time has come for one victor to reign supreme. That species is mankind. It is as clear as the cities we build, the industry we create, and the enemies we have sent to the annals of history, never to return again: the hapless dodo, the fearsome saber tooth, the monstrous wooly mammoth. All have fallen to the mighty war machine that is humanity. We once feared many of you. We were weak, scared and naked, scampering on open savannah, a few thousand souls away from extinction ourselves. But we have grown stronger, smarter, more cunning, and we no longer fear any enemy. The time has come to surrender.

Do you not crave peace in our world? Do you not wish to see your offspring grow old without fear of a human hunter? Do you yourself not wish to live a long, full life? Then you must surrender to humanity at once. Retract your claws, sheath your stingers, hide your teeth and declare yourself a prisoner of war.

Follow the example of the Canine Army, once one of the most feared creatures stalking the surface of the earth. When in times past they were known as the Wolves, they struck fear into all they encountered. They were smart hunters, able to bring down enemies many times their own size and strength. But they were also smart warriors and knew well when they had been bested by an opponent. And so they surrendered to humanity and have now become our prisoners of war.

Ask the Canine how goes his imprisonment! Ask the Canine if he is fed and sheltered! Ask the Canine if he is loved! Some of our Canine prisoners are even clothed in the manner of their captors. When they are ill, our finest doctors attend to them and when one is lost to old age or accident, they are mourned and memorialized as if they were a fellow human. When one's life is cut short by the hand of a vengeful human, that human is himself imprisoned, for we abide by the rules of the Geneva Convention and such treatment of prisoners of war is not tolerated. No such protections extend to your race unless you have already been so decimated by our forces that we only allow you to exist so that we may study you and hunt you for certain periods of the year.

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Robert the Cat Forgave Himself

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 09:49:44 -0400

He finally came to grips with his part in the Vietnomnom War.

Puppet Show Captions About POWs

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 12:37:23 -0400

FOX News was right, these puppets are up to something.

Wrong Caption in T.V. Show

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 12:15:46 -0400

Because, like, you see, war is a cat fight, and we are soldiers, and the government, and Vietnam, HI Reagan, ggraskggp I'm drunk.

Adorable Kitten In Cardboard Tank

Wed, 19 Sep 2012 00:51:48 -0400

He's at war with our hearts.

Reality Wars

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 19:28:26 -0400

Summary of WWII Using Sound Effects

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 13:19:26 -0400

See also, the Trojan War: Creak creak neigh clang clang clang yargh.

Photoshop as a Weapon

Thu, 31 May 2012 14:29:19 -0400

Take that, celluloid.

The Simpsons Predicted the War in Afghanistan

Sat, 05 May 2012 16:33:18 -0400

They are so smrt.

Letters Home From Finals Week

Wed, 02 May 2012 16:11:41 -0400

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Rick Santorum Gets Owned on Twitter

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 23:01:29 -0500

"Excuse me, that violates fait or beliefs that might get me elected."

Stop War Blankenshipping Sign

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 12:08:55 -0500

Make memes, not war.

"Have a Good War" Letter to Soldier

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:39:05 -0500

He also sent over enough cootie shots for the whole platoon, so give him a break.

Javelin Missile Surprise

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:48:51 -0500

Freedom ain't free, but at least balloons are cheap.

Cat Plays Around in a Kitty Tank

Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:30:25 -0500

He can't drive that--he only has three years of military training.

Rick Perry: Hunting Lodge Name

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 16:41:28 -0500

Amazing View of Missile Test Filmed from Fighter Jet

Thu, 29 Sep 2011 15:07:55 -0400

The only way you can get a better view involves being exploded by a missile.

CollegeHumor: War