CollegeHumor: Weekly WYR

The Weekly WYR: January 15th

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 10:27:02 -0500

It’s my favorite time of the week (for the last time), it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, save it in your head for the rest of your life because this is the WYR’s final edition.
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The Weekly WYR: January 7th

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 08:19:22 -0500

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

Would You Rather…

Know when you are going to die, or know how you are going to die? From Jake
Hear Ben Stein read a long novel all the way through, or watch every Richard Simmons video in one sitting? From Ian
Have your hands always smell like feces to everyone, or always smell feces in the air while no one else does? From Jared
Have 100 dogs that would do whatever you said, or 1000 cats that would do whatever you said? From Omar
Be able to do a handstand for 10 minutes but no one sees it or do a sick somersault in front of a hottie? From Trevor
Be named something normal like John or Jeff or have the worst parents ever WHY DID YOU NAME ME ORMAL?! From Ormal
Kill a Cheetah that was attacking you and have it’s baby cubs die or get maimed by the Cheetah but the cubs are so grateful that they become your loyal pets? From Suzie
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The Weekly WYR: December 18th

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 16:57:36 -0500

Would You Rather…

Have no sense of direction, or have no sense of time? From Andy
Post this WYR, or have me send it 100 times next week? From John
Have Luke’s Lightsaber, or Marty’s hoverboard? From Zach
Have armpit sex, or have back-of-the-knee sex? From Willy
Have your dick freeze off, or have it melt off? From sean
Be the greatest break dancer, or the greatest freestyle rapper? From Gregory
Travel to any time in history for a week, or hang out with any modern celebrity for a week? From Chris
Have your 2 favorite movies on TV, or nothing at all? From Luke
Be a Smurf, or Keebler Elf? From Chuck

Finally, this week’s winner of the They’re On To Us Award is Grown Ass, who sent in this.

Be the first black guy to work for CH or continue to pretend you dont notice? From Grown Ass

Don’t panic, let’s just fire everyone that works here.

If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: December 4th

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 13:02:55 -0500

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Do the cooking by the book, or Ddrop that ass down low then pick that motherf*cker up? From Brad
Be a superhero whose sole power is having the ability to cure anybody of any disease through the course of sexual activities, or be a villian whose determination allows for complete control over the world’s resources and nothing can be done to get rid of your reign of terror? From Paul
Create the world’s best TV show, or create the worlds best website? From Matt
Be as smart as Will from Good Will Hunting, or as good at sports as Pablo Sanchez? From Chace
Always have muffins made entirely of muffin-tops, or always get an extra nugget in your value meal? From Jordan
Fly the Millenium Falcon just ONCE or Be a passenger in it twice? From Han
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The Weekly WYR: November 19th

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:50:27 -0500

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Only be able to move by moonwalking, or only be able to move by C-walking? From Beepus
Get caught reading fan-fiction, or Get caught writing fan-fiction? From Joel
Fight a normal bear, or fight a robot bear that’s trained to kill you, but you get to have a gun? From Gil
Have Obama be president, or still have Heath Ledger alive to reprise his role as the Joker in the next Batman film? From Zack
Summon cheese anytime into your hand, or ripen fruit just by touching it? From matteo
Become a Pokemon trainer, or be admitted to Hogwarts? From Carr
Finally, this week’s winner of the I Read Them All Award is Corey, who sent in this.
Do you purposely skip and not publish my WYRs or do you not read all of them? From Corey
Every single one. FYI people “Watch a porno with your parents or starring your parents” is never going to be put on here.
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The Weekly WYR: November 12th

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 11:14:32 -0500

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Have infinite money, or live as long as you want? From Brian
Be famous for getting beat up by Clay Aiken, or be famous for banging Oprah? From reed
Call it Rhode Island, or Kakapoopoopeepeeshire? From Dave
Have an unlimited supply of quarters and not have a cell, or have a cell and never be able to use a quarter again? From Josh
Have world peace, or have Ted Dansen and Woopie Goldberg get back together? From Connor
Never be able to scratch your back, or your balls again? From Steven
Only have sex once a year, with the new Miss Universe on the night she is crowned, or have daily sex with a fat chick? From Dylan
Have straight, black teeth that can’t be whitened, or pearly white, crooked teeth that can’t be fixed? From gavin
Have a dumb girlfriend with big boobs, or a smart girlfriend with a major bank account and no boobs? From Marten
Finally, this week’s winner of the Haha Award is irab, who sent in this.
Be able to rig the presidential election or be the dirty liberal media and ruin this country? From irab
Sorry Irab, but- in your face.
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: November 4th

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 11:02:53 -0500

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Lick a subway handrail, or forever suck at beer pong? From kat
Be Jason Bourne, or James Bond, but as Timothy Dalton? From Oliver
Gerrard Butler from 300, or Gerrard Butler from P.S. I love you? (Before you say the other, remember he was tappin’ Hillary Swank in this one.) From Andrew
Be able to only watch movies, or television for the rest of your life? From Joe
Live in Peewee’s Playhouse, or Live in the Playboy Mansion? From Alexander
Have all the show case show girls in the price is right be naked, or have Bob Barker be the host of the price is right again? From Jeff
Have Van Halen’s “Eruption” play loudly for everyone to hear whenever you pee, or have Marvin Gaye’s “Lets get it on” whenever you have a boner? From John
Finally, this week’s winner of the It’s A Waste of Time Award Award is randy, who sent in this.
If I win this, do I get a Busted Tee or is this just a waste of my time? From randy
Sorry, Randy. It’s meaningless- unless you consider the honor and prestige worthwhile.
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: October 30th

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 12:21:49 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Have a kind, intelligent talking hampster, or a loud, racist talking Wookie? From jim
Have a hang nail, or something stuck in your teeth for the rest of your life? From Josh
Get 100% on a really hard midterm, or get 100% on a really hard guitar hero song in a room full of hot girls? From smandy
Only be able to talk using famous movie quotes, or only be able to talk in a hilariously high-pitched voice for the rest of your life? From Chase
Always have someone pointing an elastic at your face, or have someone waiting around every corner ready to scare you? From Joel
Kill Dracula with your bare hands, or kill an army of weak, slow zombies with a bunch of weapons? From Bruce
Have Will Smith’s character from Men in Black be president, or have Will Smith’s character from Independence Day be president? From Bubby
Finally, this week’s winner of the Creative Arts Award is Brandon, who sent in this.
8======D or ( . ) ( . ) From Brandon
Well, reader’s, you get the question. What’s it going to be?
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: October 23rd

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:53:49 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Find a genie lamp inhabited by Robin Williams, or find a genie lamp inhabited by Shaq? From Ben
Have make up sex, or break up sex? From Marc
Know how many times you have masturbated in your life, or know how much time you have spent masturbating in your life? From Daniel
Live in your mom’s house with, like, 5 hot chicks or live alone in the sweetest mansion EVER!? From Alex
Your candidate win on November 4th, or receive a wet handjob from some random girl? From J
Graduate from school without debt, or be unbeatable at Golden Eye? From Jason
Spend every waking hour of your life working to find a cure for cancer, or spend every waking hour of your life masturbating for the same salary? From Evan
Be nerdy enough to know that Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie is a girl, or not know and post online that it is some kind of mystery even though the game states her gender several times? From Allen
Finally, this week’s winner of the Okay… Award is Spankk, who sent in this.
Be lame and work for CollegeHumor the rest of your life or get a real job and do something with your life? From Spankk
Do something, like, more productive than submitting to a small recurring column on a website you don’t respect? Something like that?
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: October 16th

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:03:19 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Be dizzy forever, or own 28 indestructable cats that disrespect you physically and emotionally? From artimus
Taste like stamp all over your body, or smell old only some of the time? From harrison
Find a quarter on the sidewalk, or have your hometown win the WNBA championship? From Brent
make sex noises every time you took a crap, or make cat noises every time you had to pee From Guillermo
Live a happy and fulfilling life, or die fighting (and having killed) one or more bears? From Evan
Hear the Family Matters theme everytime you see a black cop, or hear the Full House theme everytime you see a white widower? From Charles
Have a viral video, or have a low rated TV show? From Chris
Have a Light Saber, or end world hunger? From mike
Finally, this week’s winner of the That’s Not Technically a WYR, But Damn, It’s a Good Question Award is Philip, who sent in this.
Is Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie a boy or girl? From Philip
Straight up, man? I’m not sure.
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: October 9th

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:04:37 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Have sex with a classic mermaid (top half girl, bottom half fish), or reverse mermaid (top half fish, bottom half girl)? From Jon
Delete your facebook account, or break up with your girlfriend becaues she’s a bitch and told you to? From Lavonnio
Be born 1000 years in the past, or 1000 years in the future? From Lavonnio
F*ck this who would win in a fight Darth Vader, or Voldemort? From Prabhu
Have really bad sex, or the best shit of your ife? From Cameron
Be the kind of guy who wears shiny shirts or still have one of those Nextel walkie talkie phones? From Plato
Only sleep with hot girls but have no emotional feelings towaards them or truly make love and feel connected to hahaha I’m just kidding. From Sawyer
Look exactly like James Van Der Beek or be able to dunk? From Joey
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The Weekly WYR: October 2nd

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:42:56 -0400

It’s Jake’s favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Say a popsicle stick joke every time you meet someone or a Snapple fact From Danny
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The Weekly WYR: September 25th

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:05:50 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Be married to a pig, or love a pig but not have it love you? back From Mike
Live your whole life needing to desperately pee and being unable to do so, or live your whole life peeing immediately wherever and whenever the urge comes? From James
Have hot cougar sex with Cindy McCain in the White House, or hook up with Sarah Palin on a regular basis at the Vice Presidential Mansion? From John
Be a global hero by saving earth from aliens but only receive a plaque from the President, or be an evil villain and take over all the world’s riches? From Ryan
Watch Doug all day, or watch Rocko’s Modern Life all day? From Joe
Find out Steve Jobs owns a Zune, or find out Bill Gates owns an iPod? From Joe
Make sweet, sweet love to a girl only to find out she was dead the whole ime, or take that same girl out to go see Mama Mia the musical? From ben
Constantly yell “I’m masturbating” while masturbating, or constantly yell “I’m not masturbating” when not masturbating? From Beta
Be the ultimate fighting champion, or not have a job that consists of getting punched in the face a lot? From Hunter
Finally, this week’s winner of the I Miss You, Jason Michaels Award is Addison, who sent in this.
Have Jason Michaels as your best friend or have sex with Sarah Palin once? From Addison
The horn of Helm Hammerhand will sound in the deep. One. Last. Time.
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: September 18th

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 12:17:54 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Have the ability to fly, but every time you flew you were naked, or have the ability to be invisible but anytime you went invisible people nearby would talk sh*t about you? From Siggy778
Only be able to watch That 80’s Show when the TV is on, or only wear JNCO’s for the rest of your life? From Nick
Live in constant fear of clouds, or have your car towed every time you parked? From Marc
Get to see boobs every day for the rest of your life and never touch them, or get to touch boobs everyday and never see them? From andrew
Be the first thing that pops up on Google when you search “Amazing”, or the guy who plays PC in the MAC ads? From Ian
Never feel pain, or never be able to taste anything for the rest of your life? From Robert
Have a popcorn kernel in your throat forever, or have Cheeto-fingers forever? From Josh
Burn the roof of your mouth, or burn your tongue? From Gonzo
Have The Simpsons be funny again, or have Carlos Mencia banned from Television? From Colin
Finally, this week’s winner of the I Dunno If We’re On The Same Page Award is Josh, who sent in this.
Make a lion submit to your will and let you bone it or not ever do the manliest thing ever? From Josh
…?
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: September 10th

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:57:34 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Be Michael Phelps and be super famous every 4 years, or be Ben Savage and be moderately famous forever? From Trevor
Eat and entire Boa Constrictor while it was alive and be a bad ass, or eat a dead Boa Constrictor and be a loser who couldn’t eat it alive? From Todd
Never be able to wear shoes again, or have to carry two briefcases wherever you went? From Calvin
Have no one understand anything you said ever, or not be able to talk at all? From Wesley
Have the sickest apartment in Milkwaukee, or a sh*tty place in New York City? From Mitch
F*ck the hottest girl ever but all she does is lie there and say how tiny your dick is, or bang a mediocre girl who can’t get enough of how much of a stallion you are? From Tanya
date a guy who looks like a hot girl, or a girl who looks like a hot guy? From Sam
have a slutty mom, or have a slutty daughter From matt
Finally, this week’s winner of the That’s Kind of an Easy WYR Award is Ryan, who sent in this.
Get drilled in the neck with a giant drill or never have orange juice again? From Ryan
Whoa Ryan, how much do you like Orange juice?
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: August 27th

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 17:49:13 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Cry when you say bye to your dad and he tells your for the first time that you’re a man and he’s proud of you and have everyone see it, or cry because he never said it, and be all alone? From Yarmel
Have dining hall food that makes you painfully constipated, or have dining hall food that gives you painful diarrhea? From Grimace
The top bunk and hurt the bottom of your feet on the small rungs of that wooden ladder thing every single morning, or the bottom bunk and constantly have Dorito crumbs in the sheets because everyone sits on your bed when they watch TV? From Smiles
Lick the floor of a shower stall and not be able to brush your teeth, or bite into the loofa of the fattest kid in your building? From GrapeBoy
Get caught masturbating by your super religious roommate, or Get caught drinking by your super loser R.A.? From Boomerang
Call it Beirut, or Beer Pong? From Tina
Cheat on your girlfriend with a hot girl from down your hall and have to confess, or cheat on your girlfriend with the hot girls stubby roommate and have no one know? From Pete
Pay 5 dollars for a cup at some lame off campus party, or get kicked out of this lame off campus party and go home alone? From Guy
Play intramural flag football and BE THE EFFING BOMB, or let go of high school- you were never that good. From Tessa
Spend all semester trying to ease into a conversation with that hot girl from your bio lab, or just know right now that she’s already f*cking a senior? From Kyle
Have unlimited dining hall food, or one really, really good meal a day? From Calvin
Have a hot female roommate, or have a roommate who dealt weed? From Tom
Finally, this week’s winner of the Worst roommate ever Award is Jimbo, who sent in this.
Have the best roommate ever named Troy Henkins and he’s so damn cool! or Wanna hang out tonight and play pool or video games or watch a DVD or do whatever you want I don’t care? From Jimbo
Yikes, Jimbo. Hey, Jimbo’s roommate if you’re there? Transfer.
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: July 17th

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:09:42 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Have your town over run by zombies, or fat girls with high self esteem? From KY
Have popcorn kernels stuck in the back of your mouth, or have a fly keep landing on your when youre trying to fall asleep? From Kyle
Burn the roof of your mouth eating hot food, or have all your fingernails clipped too short? From Kyle
Go back in time and chang something in your past, or Go to the future and see what your life is like? From Jared
Have the monster from Cloverfield trying to kill you, or Javier Bardem from No Country for Old Men? From Matt
Be best in the world at one thing, or 10th best in the world at 10 things? From Brian
Have infinate amounts of okay pizza, or have a set amount of the best pizza in the world? From Mike
Have your life depend on getting a swirled random password in one try, or figure out a magic eye in one try? From Neil
Be a cute polar bear with an amputated leg, or a cute kitten that is bald due to a deathly illness? From vic
Personally end strife in Darfur, or see The Dark Knight? From Andrew
Finally, this week’s winner of the I Don’t Think You’re Getting Enough Sleep Award is Julia, who sent in this.
Not be able to understand the concept of “more” or only be able to speak in iambic pentameter? From Julia
Congrats Julia, now please get some rest.
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: July 10th

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 11:54:45 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Get paid tons of money to watch Water World 5 times a day, or get paid a modest amount for doing something fun? From Derek
Have sex with a girl only to find out you’re closely related, or get a blowjob from a girl only to find out she’s a man? From Mike
Have a billion dollars but only be able to spend money once a year, or have a million dollars to spend whenever? From Kyle
Build an awesome fort, or build a badass tree house? From Joe
Ride a Panda Bear, or be friends with a silly Monkey? From Ryan
Live the happiest life ever, but with guarenteed admission to Hell, or live the unhappiest life ever, with admission to Heaven? From Steve
Have Carlos Mencia perform at your wedding, or have Carlos Mencia strip at your bachelor party? From Matt
Be the person that invented the spork, or the person that invented those corn holding things? (with the 2 prongs) From Francis
Finally, this week’s winner of the Let’s Go The Connecticut Sun! Award is Matt, who sent in this.
Find five bucks on the ground or have your local WNBA team win the championship? From Matt
Come on, Matt, these ladies rule!
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
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The Weekly WYR: June 19th

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 15:34:10 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Age from the neck up, or age from the neck down? From Jan
Look weak and be really strong, or Look strong and be really weak? From Nick
Live without music, or sports? From Spencer
Have to see “The Love Guru”, or see “You Don’t Mess With The Zohan” From cole
Have X-ray vision but not be able to control it and have to see everyone you know naked all the time, or not see anyone naked? From Joe
Finally, this week’s winner of the Don’t Send Me WYRs Like This Anymore Award is Ian, who sent in this.
Get a blow job from your mom or f*ck your dad in the ass? From Ian
I’m serious, Ian and people like Ian. This is disgusting. This is the last one you will ever see.

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The Weekly WYR: May 29th

Thu, 29 May 2008 12:12:55 -0400

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather…
Get food poisoning every time you eat your favorite meal, or have a seizure every time you watched your favorite show? From Kacie
Have AIDS, but access to modern treatment, or have haunted semen? From Zach
Live in a mansion with nothing in it, or live in a hut with as much stuff that’ll fit? From Boba
Own the De Lorean from Back to the Future, or the Batmobile? From Sara
Have a hangover cure that truly works, or have guilt free condom-less sex forever? From prof.
The LOST ending suck, or never have an ending to LOST? From Zach
Have a last name everyone made fun of, or a last name no one could pronounce? From Jason
Finally, this week’s winner of the WHO CARES IT’S AMY SMART Award is Matt, who sent in this.
Have sex with Amy Smart or not be subjected to a cocktail of sexually transmitted diseases? From Matt
Come on Matt, sometimes you just have to bite the f*cking bullet.
If you have a good WYR, submit it below. Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.
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