Hipster Abraham Lincoln picture Hipster Abraham Lincoln

That's the chorus in his newly released single, Emancipation Proclamation.

Mom Texts Son About Google Logo picture Mom Texts Son About Google Logo

While you're at it, bring back the old Facebook.

Heartfelt Breakup Note picture Heartfelt Breakup Note

Poor girl. Now who's going to make her feel good about her spelling ability?

Deep Throat Competition picture Deep Throat Competition

It's not what you think, it's a blowjob contest.

Car Note to Cop picture Car Note to Cop

That's EXACTLY what a drug dealer would say.

South Park Secret Message picture South Park Secret Message

"You will respect my hawk-eye."

Gun Control Sign Calls Out Neighbors picture Gun Control Sign Calls Out Neighbors

Attention robbers on this seemingly quaint suburban street.

How to Hide Your Beer in a Soda Cup picture How to Hide Your Beer in a Soda Cup

Warning: Will make alcoholism apparent.

Syphoning Gas Apology picture Syphoning Gas Apology

He didn't have to empty the tank bone dry though.

Angry Customer Sends Comcast Gift picture Angry Customer Sends Comcast Gift

Thanks for the pre-paid postage, dildos.

Big Black Dude Letter to Neighbor picture Big Black Dude Letter to Neighbor

She should be much more afraid of the creepy white guy living below her. He does some weird shit.

Girl's Boyfriend Requests Fellatio For Birthday picture Girl's Boyfriend Requests Fellatio For Birthday

Apparently she couldn't find it at Best Buy.

Pool Rules Take It To The Next Level picture Pool Rules Take It To The Next Level

When you're a part-time lifeguard, you make the rules.

Facebook Slut Picture picture Facebook Slut Picture

Self admitting slut comes to terms with her low self-esteem.

PlayStation's Role in Bin Laden's Demise picture PlayStation's Role in Bin Laden's Demise

Now just think of what we could do if Facebook was down.