'105percent' Articles
59 total- Tuesday, May 6 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #56
Turning Tuesdays into Fundays!If there's one thing I've learned about women, it's that they can't stand peeing.-Drew AlboI was driving one day and I saw that someone spray painted "Thug For Life" across a bridge. Naturally, my grandparents thought...
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114 Comments
- Tuesday, Apr 29 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #55
May or may not contain peanuts, depending on what exactly those things are.I wonder how the paraplegic cavemen drove those prehistoric cars from The Flintstones?-Patrick CasselsQuestions That May Never Be Answered1. Who Let the Dogs Out?2. Whose...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic44
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64 Comments
- Wednesday, Apr 23 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #54
You may remember us from such weekly columns as "Stuff That Was Only Important 7 Days Ago."Jeff Foxworthy Goes GreenIf yer left arm's tan from hangin out yer truck all day, you should probably take public transit to reduce your carbon...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic89
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83 Comments
- Tuesday, Apr 15 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #53
For humans, by humans.Seemingly Obvious Movie SpoilersNo Country For Old Men: The old men decide this is no country for them.There Will Be Blood: There was blood.Leatherheads: Renee Zellweger is ugly as sh*t.-Chase MitchellStep-sisters Are the...
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81 Comments
- Tuesday, Apr 8 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #52
The best part of wakin' up (at 6PM on Tuesday).I used to have a coke problem. Every time I did it I wanted to sing karaoke.-Yanni GogolectOhio State Fan Who Doesn't Get It"I like Ohio State so much, I bleed red."-Nick DoremusPolitically Correct...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic40
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157 Comments
- Wednesday, Apr 2 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #51
Still accepting the word "cyberspace."Multiple DUI Offender Botches RiddleWhy is is that we park on driveways and repeatedly commit vehicular manslaughter on parkways?-John CEvery guitar is an air guitar when you're deaf.-Conor McKeonA lot of...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic51
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88 Comments
- Tuesday, Mar 25 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #50
50 issues down, 30 to go! Awesome tramp stamp idea for a homosexual gentleman: "Members Only."-Derek WalbornUnfortunate NewsThe world's only police sketch artist was killed today. Nobody will ever know who did it...-Amir BlumenfeldDial-up is a lot...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic60
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78 Comments
- Tuesday, Mar 18 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #49
Less than 2 percent of our readers die from incredibly rare diseases. Coincidence?Politically Correct Dyslexia-"Ask that black guy for directions"-"Excuse me, but I believe they prefer to be called 'little people.'"-Conor MckeonPopular Weird Al...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic33
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71 Comments
- Tuesday, Mar 11 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #48
Brought to you by the coolest crew since "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" went off the air.Spending so much time on Jeopardy has ruined his joke structure.Who is Alex Trebek?-Mark HenryAccording to IMDB, Cory Matthews was in all 158 episodes of Boy...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic35
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82 Comments
- Tuesday, Mar 4 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #47
All the fun of a Stephen King novel, without the crappy ABC mini-series.Facebook Games Other Than ScrabulousMonopulousConnect FourulousIdentity Theft-Dan GurewitchChris Farley's death hurt David Spade's career worse than his own.-Brendan...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic59
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60 Comments
- Tuesday, Feb 26 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #46
Brought to you by the letter B, a subsidiary of Globex International.Guy who cheats at Mad LibsFor my trip to (California), I (boarded) a (large) (airplane). For dinner we were offered (fish) or (chicken). Altogether, it was a (pleasant trip)....
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78 Comments
- Tuesday, Feb 19 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #45
Because laughter is the best medicine, and we're its corrupt pharmaceutical lobby. Flawless Logic Don't drink and drive, unless you're a really good multi-tasker. -Charlie N I'm ashamed to admit it now, but I lied on my college...
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75 Comments
- Wednesday, Feb 13 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #44
We're bigger than Jesus' online column. Guy: Sorry babe, Valentine's Day is a Hallmark Holiday. I don't need a corporation to tell me when to say "I love you." Girl: It's also my Birthday. Guy: Hallmark Birthday. Girl: You're stepping on...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic35
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49 Comments
- Tuesday, Feb 5 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #43
Illegal in 48 states. Frowned upon in the other two. -"My Dad is a long-suffering Giants fan." -"What do you mean? They just won the Super Bowl." -"He's dying of stomach cancer." -Tom Sunnergren Hank Aaron's Pun School "I'd risk my ass...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic49
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46 Comments
- Tuesday, Jan 29 2008
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105% Percent
Article:Issue #45
If this issue of the 105% is not funny, it is likely due to a manufacturing defect. Ask for an exchange at the point of purchase.My dog threw up yesterday all over my hand, because that's what I shoved down its mouth.-Shawn PearlmanI bet Slinky...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic44
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89 Comments
- Thursday, Jan 17 2008
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Article:
105% issue #44
This issue edited by Cookie Monster's evil twin, People Monster.Dated "Yo' Mamma" Jokes - "Yo' mamma's so fat, the Genie from Aladdin granted her 4 wishes."- "Yo' mamma's so dumb, she convinced Richard Donner to produce a third Lethal Weapon."- "...
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- Tuesday, Jan 8 2008
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Article:
105% issue #43
Surgeon General's Warning: reading this sentence may cause anal leakage.Insult or Sad Voicemail? You Make the Call"Your mom called. She wants her medicine back!"-Amir BlumenfeldMy younger half-brother and White-Out have a lot in common: they're...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic 50 likes
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48
- Monday, Dec 24 2007
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Article:
210% - The Annual Best of 105%
Next year, we're going to give an extra five percent.Loser: "I'm into Nickelback."Mega-loser: "I was into Nickelback before they were cool."-Streeter SeidellWorst/Best Newspaper HeadlineEx-con Pledges to Make Rape History-Ben Hutchinson"Haley,...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic 84 likes
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71
- Tuesday, Dec 11 2007
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Article:
105% issue #42
Scream, "105% is the greatest thing ever!" at everyone you see. If they're on the 105% prize patrol, you'll win $105! Stay tuned for another uninterrupted joke block.Jedi Shorthand- Death *- @@ Walker- R2D2 -Jeff Rubin Not-So-Dirty Harry"In...
KEEP READINGBy 105%-o-matic 35 likes
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70
- Tuesday, Dec 4 2007
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Article:
105% issue #41
This is what your parents are afraid you're doing on the computer.Islamic Pep Talk"There is no 'I' in 'Ayatollah."-Eric BoloRules for Speed MonopolyOne player decides he is the banker. Then, for no good reason, the banker hits everyone as hard as...
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