Being Classy in my Senior Picture

"My mom was pretty angry with my senior picture choice. Not because it was stupid, more 'cuz my Dad was a Crip. RIP Dad."

One man enters, half a man leaves.

The van's not a-rocking, but I'm still going to just walk by and pretend I didn't see anything.

Sub-Zero wins!

They're all single, ladies.

"It's from fencing with PVC piping found in the garbage." (gross)

Just like Halloween brings out slutty girls' natural sluttiness, it brings out weird guys natural weirdness.

Hypothetically speaking, what do you think would happen if you hit a deer at, say, 70 miles per hour? Hypothetically.

"When he accepted the dare quickly, I upped it with the blood and crap."

Hey guys, can I be in your gang?

WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN US!?!

For most people this is a deny, but there's a certain percentage out there who would call this an enthusiastic approve.

"My friend beat up LL Cool J back in '92 and took his jacket."

"After my friend decided to pull a knife on the bouncer..."

Whenever I read that sign I think "Uh oh, better look out for the retarded kids."

Ummm I think you guys are playing flag football wrong.

Let me check. Nope, you're wrong.

"My friend just got punched in the face by a 89 year old woman."

I'm telling you, snake blood gives you an extra 100-200 horsepower, depending on how wise the snake is.

"Hang Nail."