Arnold from The Magic School Bus gets his Yearbook Signed

Big thanks to The Law Firm of Wolff, Gurewitch, and Hurwitz for all their help.

They're Running Out Of Titles For Garfield Books

Art by Owen "Odie" Parsons

5 Great Books That Became Horrible Videogames

We have all seen a crappy movie based on a videogame.  We have all also played a crappy videogame based on a movie. We often see movies based on books (in fact, for a long time nearly all feature films were adapted from novels). ...

Real Book Buyback Signs

I've never understood why I spend $150 for a book, but when I go to sell it, I only get $50 for it. And that's on a good day. I didn't write in the thing, and I sure as hell didn't read it. This is what those Book Buy Back signs should say...

Letters from Oprah's Book Club

08/31/08Dear Readers-HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE GOT TO READ THIS INSPIRING TRUE MEMOIR A TALKING PIG WROTE.Oh my god!  Wow- we've been through some tough times these past few months, but all that pales in comparison to what this poor swine author has...

Eight Generic Phrases That Conveniently Describe Any Classic Text

brings me back to my childhood on the farm, where my father once told me..."Because nobody, not even your professor who is paid to do it, pays any attention to students' boring and lengthy personal anecdotes, especially when they have little to...

Book Fair vs Book Store

BOOK STORE Holla holla, pimp and hoes! Look who showed up to the campus book store during the first week of class with $246.35! That's right, Jimmy Dunbar. I just cashed in a savings bond, and I am ready to use this money to...

Honest Collegiate Book Reviews

Last page of the new Harry Potter book

My aunt works for Bloomsbury Books and I asked her to send me a picture of the last page of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. I couldn't believe she did it! It's insane, but for real, DO NOT click if you don't want to see the last page of...

The Literary Fresh Prince

Felix W. Cooper's Literary Excerpts: A Prince's LifeToday's selection is taken from the beginning, middle, and end of the prologue setting up Prince William Smith's autobiography, A Prince's Life. It begins:Smith's story is 700 pages of sweeping...

Inappropriate Subtitles For Famous Novels

Good Thing You Stopped Reading "Goosebumps"

Many of us read the Goosebumps series, from #1 ("Welcome To Dead House") to #62 ("Monster Blood IV"). But few know that after #62, author R.L. Stine kept writing for another decade. As these excerpts show, the later installments lacked that...

Your Textbooks Rewritten As Erotic Novels

PHILOSOPHY: Nietzsche thrusted deeper and deeper between the supple legs of Simone de Beauvoir, yelling “Who’s your ubermensch?” Simone lost...

"From Pieces to Weight" Excerpts I Doubt 50 Cent Actually Wrote

I just finished reading 50 Cent's memoir, From Pieces to Weight, which recounts his life as a crack dealer and upstart rapper. The ghostwriter makes a valiant effort to replicate 50's voice throughout, with passages such as Seeing my grandfather...

An Excerpt from Super Mario Bros. The Novel:

The sweat burned my eyes. Blinking hard I tried to focus. I needed to focus. Only a cold blooded creature could consider a castle full of lava as its home. My overalls felt like they weighed a ton. My movements were all in slow motion. Even my...

Publisher's Notes - "Shake Ya Body: The Story of Chesty Cathy" by Tyra Banks

From the Desk of Matthew Q. StevensonTriumph Publishing CompanyChildren’s Book DepartmentJanuary 31, 2007Dear Tyra,On behalf of the Triumph Publishing Company’s Children’s Department, it’s my pleasure to declare our...

A Series of Emails from Britney Spears' Ghostwriter Concerning Her Upcoming Book

Dear Ms. Spears,    I just finished speaking with your literary agent, and I am very excited to assist you with writing your tell-all! I’ve been a fan for many years and I keep up with you in the papers, so I sympathize with the way you&...