• Develop a solid layer of fat to protect yourself from the cold: odds are you've already gotten a head-start on this one thanks to your campus dining center and drunken late-night pizza binges.  While your unsightly rolls of fat may lead you to believe that you are less than attractive to members of the opposite sex, which you definitely are, you can hide your disgusting and well-insulated body in layers of sweat pants and hoodies.
• Find a ride home for Thanksgiving/Christmas: now is the time to reconnect with your annoying high school friend with a car who goes to your school.  Sure, the kid was annoying as hell and always wanted to tag along with you during Welcome Week, but his beat up Saturn is better than sitting next to a possible prison-escapee on a Greyhound.
• Re-establish contact with your high school ex-girlfriend: now is the time for several well-placed facebook messages about wanting to catch up (i.e. hook-up) over break.  The endless parade of drunk co-eds comes to a grinding halt the second you step foot into your childhood room, so make sure that you mend the fences that resulted from breaking up with her a week before you both left for school.

The Stickler: You've been assigned to freshman hall 2C, and what better way to celebrate the fact that 'C' and 'sea' sound the same than with a charming, pun-based ocean theme. Cute, right? WRONG. Not only has your RA used a college hall pun so tired it makes Benicio Del Toro look alert, but your entire dorm looks like Finding Nemo barfed on it. On top of that, those octopuses were cut individually by hand, which means hours upon hours of meticulous scissorwork. Dedication like that can only come from the most hardcore of RAs.

What You Can Get Away With: Nothing. Like the marine animals covering your door, your RA's senses are so heightened that she can sense an illegal hot plate from five rooms over. Her favorite citation to deliver is a noise violation, so unless you can convincingly argue that you and your friends were attempting to recreate the sounds of orcas during mating season, you might as well just throw those speakers away.