4:45 PMStomach: Cool, he's napping. That's good, I need all the energy I can get to work on those two crunchwrap supremes he just plopped down here.Colon: Sorry, gotta do my 'thang.Stomach: Colon! You just woke him up! I'm not even halfway done...
KEEP READING
A hive of bees is alive and bustling. A human approaches, and is noticed by one of the bees, who turns to the swarm in a panic.Bee #1: Fellow bees, look! The giant approaches! (an audible gasp is heard across the swarm, as they freeze and stare...
KEEP READING
Open on Alvin and the Chipmunks, at band practice. They begin to sing, but it quickly becomes apparent that something is off. Finally, Alvin snaps.ALVIN: Ok, stop stop STOP. Simon, what the f*ck is your problem?SIMON: Excuse me? MY problem?...
KEEP READING
Nostrasaurus: I see terrible things in your future.Dinosaur: What?! Tell me! Nostrasaurus: I see your skeleton assembled in a large room. There are little creatures - humans, they're called - and they're interested in your skeleton. They're...
KEEP READING
Left-Side-Of-Brain: Hmm, what do you want to dream about tonight, Hank?Right Brain: Falling off a cliff?Left Brain: ...You always say that...Right Brain: How about that cute girl in English? I'd like to anec her dote!Left Brain: Not tonight,...
KEEP READING
(iPhone is hanging out by himself. Blackberry enters.)Blackberry: Oh, iPhone! Hey! What's going on?iPhone: (takes out his headphones) What?Blackberry: Oh, I just...I said hey.iPhone: Hey. (puts his headphones back in)Blackberry: Sooooo. You...
KEEP READING
Stretch Armstrong: Hello Steve, I'm your new roommate.Me: Wow...Stretch Armstrong: I hope you're ready for a year of no homework, no baths, and tons of fun!Me: (Nods head)Stretch Armstrong: Say, those are some pretty sweet glasses you got there....
KEEP READING
Why do I let myself daydream? In my head, my life is adventurous: I am a dashing prince upon a majestic horse, with a much deeper voice, striving valiantly to save the damsel. And I also don't have to pluck my eyebrows.But in reality, when I try...
KEEP READING
New York City: Boston! Hey, how's it going, dude?Boston: Hey man, I'm good, you?New York City: Can't complain. Oh, I forgot to ask you last time we...*New Haven runs into the room*New Haven: Hey yooooo! 'Sup dudes?New York City:...
KEEP READING
Co-Written By Patrick Cassels
Mr. Coen: Hi, Jim Marshall please?Mr. Marshall: Speaking, who's this?Mr. Coen: Hey Jim! It's Arthur, Arthur Coen!Mr. Marshall: Arthur Coen?Mr. Coen: Remember? The Tapersville Terrible Tarantulas? The bleachers? Must have been, gee whiz, like, 40...
KEEP READING
(This article requires a minimum score of 3 on the AP Chemistry exam or completion of CHEM 100 or higher)Sodium: Hey, the guys called, want to head over to Lithium's place?Chlorine: No, I hate it over there.Sodium: See this is exactly what I...
KEEP READING
Dr. Pepper walks out of a coffeeshop, counting his change, and accidentally bumps into Mr. Pibb.Dr. Pepper: I only carry plastic.
KEEP READING
Dennis: Hey Leah.Leah: Hi. I'm sorry, have we met?Dennis: Kind of. We're friends on facebook.Leah: Oh. Cool.Dennis: So how was France? I know you took a course there this Summer. I was "perusin'" ya pics, haha.Leah: It was really great, I went to...
KEEP READING
Dad: Son.Me: Yes, Dad?Dad: I am not long for this world.Me: I know, Da-- Wait, what?Dad: I am not long for this--Me: No, I heard you... I just don't get it, I guess. What does that mean?Dad: It means I'm dying, son.Me: OK, so... why didn't you...
KEEP READING
Emily: Wow Karen, you look gorgeous!Karen: No I don’t, I look like dog food. You look gorgeous.Emily: No way, I’m spilling out of these jeans like cup cake batter.Karen: Nah, what do you weigh, like 80 pounds?Emily: More like 180...
KEEP READING
Pencil: Hey man, it's kind of awkward for me to ask you this, but could you please stop chewing on me?Owner: Woah, what!? Are you kidding me? After all we’ve been through? I thought we had something special.Pencil: We still do! Of course we...
KEEP READING
Today's Big Thing is pretty simple. Every day, they find the best thing on the Internet and put it on the site. Just one thing, each day. Yep, that's it.Check out today's big thing.
One of the Internet's best game-related sites. Everything from game news, reviews and downloads. A fantastic time waster all around Check it out.
Gameatopia is a great distraction from work (unless your job is testing flash games). They've got an extensive archive of classic games and add new ones every day. They are personally responsible for over 1000 lost man hours at CollegeHumor.
Filmdrunk is everything you want to know about movies, the people in them and the cultural cesspit known as Hollywood. It's like a celebrity gossip blog for film students. Go now!
Some of the funniest links and videos you\'ll find anywhere online. Check the Spank Bank for daily updated Hot Girls and the forum if you want even more Gorillamask.
Onion Sports has quickly become the nation's number-one site for hard-hitting sports news, stats, and information that isn't true. If you hadn't figured this out yet, what The Onion is to news, Onion Sports is to sports.
They state their aim pretty clearly with their domain: A great site for when you're, well, bored. Links, pics, vids, forums, this site has 'em all. Go now!