Steve: Hey Lucas, ready for yet another night of insolent vagrancy? Lucas: Yeah, I can't wait to stay out past ten o'clock doing all those bad things we like to do, like wearing scary clothes and making loud noises in restaurants....
KEEP READING
Professor: It didn't...Lex: OR that it couldn't shoot poisonous black goop out of its mouth!Professor: OK that's just preposterous.Tim: O rly? Ask that fat guy from "Seinfeld." You CAN'T! Know why? 'Cause a Dilophosaurus ate the f**k out of him....
KEEP READING
Girl Site: <Talk>?Boy Site: <Yes>Girl Site: </Love You>Boy Site: <Why>?Girl Site: <Changed><Life target="_blank">Boy Site: </Go>Girl Site: </Relationship>Boy Site: <Friends>?Girl Site: </...
KEEP READING
Tricia and Kara, two extremely hot girls, are laying out in the quad. Tricia: Oh my god, Kara, take a look at Henry Popper over there laying on the bench.Kara: Wow. Look at that healthy, full gut. He must be like, totally well fed and wealthy....
KEEP READING
4:45 PMStomach: Cool, he's napping. That's good, I need all the energy I can get to work on those two crunchwrap supremes he just plopped down here.Colon: Sorry, gotta do my 'thang.Stomach: Colon! You just woke him up! I'm not even halfway done...
KEEP READING
A hive of bees is alive and bustling. A human approaches, and is noticed by one of the bees, who turns to the swarm in a panic.Bee #1: Fellow bees, look! The giant approaches! (an audible gasp is heard across the swarm, as they freeze and stare...
KEEP READING
Open on Alvin and the Chipmunks, at band practice. They begin to sing, but it quickly becomes apparent that something is off. Finally, Alvin snaps.ALVIN: Ok, stop stop STOP. Simon, what the f*ck is your problem?SIMON: Excuse me? MY problem?...
KEEP READING
Nostrasaurus: I see terrible things in your future.Dinosaur: What?! Tell me! Nostrasaurus: I see your skeleton assembled in a large room. There are little creatures - humans, they're called - and they're interested in your skeleton. They're...
KEEP READING
Left-Side-Of-Brain: Hmm, what do you want to dream about tonight, Hank?Right Brain: Falling off a cliff?Left Brain: ...You always say that...Right Brain: How about that cute girl in English? I'd like to anec her dote!Left Brain: Not tonight,...
KEEP READING
(iPhone is hanging out by himself. Blackberry enters.)Blackberry: Oh, iPhone! Hey! What's going on?iPhone: (takes out his headphones) What?Blackberry: Oh, I just...I said hey.iPhone: Hey. (puts his headphones back in)Blackberry: Sooooo. You...
KEEP READING
Stretch Armstrong: Hello Steve, I'm your new roommate.Me: Wow...Stretch Armstrong: I hope you're ready for a year of no homework, no baths, and tons of fun!Me: (Nods head)Stretch Armstrong: Say, those are some pretty sweet glasses you got there....
KEEP READING
Why do I let myself daydream? In my head, my life is adventurous: I am a dashing prince upon a majestic horse, with a much deeper voice, striving valiantly to save the damsel. And I also don't have to pluck my eyebrows.But in reality, when I try...
KEEP READING
New York City: Boston! Hey, how's it going, dude?Boston: Hey man, I'm good, you?New York City: Can't complain. Oh, I forgot to ask you last time we...*New Haven runs into the room*New Haven: Hey yooooo! 'Sup dudes?New York City:...
KEEP READING
Co-Written By Patrick Cassels
Mr. Coen: Hi, Jim Marshall please?Mr. Marshall: Speaking, who's this?Mr. Coen: Hey Jim! It's Arthur, Arthur Coen!Mr. Marshall: Arthur Coen?Mr. Coen: Remember? The Tapersville Terrible Tarantulas? The bleachers? Must have been, gee whiz, like, 40...
KEEP READING
(This article requires a minimum score of 3 on the AP Chemistry exam or completion of CHEM 100 or higher)Sodium: Hey, the guys called, want to head over to Lithium's place?Chlorine: No, I hate it over there.Sodium: See this is exactly what I...
KEEP READING
Dr. Pepper walks out of a coffeeshop, counting his change, and accidentally bumps into Mr. Pibb.Dr. Pepper: I only carry plastic.
KEEP READING
Filmdrunk is everything you want to know about movies, the people in them and the cultural cesspit known as Hollywood. It's like a celebrity gossip blog for film students. Go now!
Check out the ultimate guide to sports gaming with tips, strategies, ratings and reviews to get the edge on the competition, and more importantly never lose to your stupid brother again.Go now!
If you like celebrity trash getting wasted and exposing themselves, you only need to know one name: Lindsay Lohan. But also DerekHail.com because that's where pics of our favorite trainwrecks end up.
One of the Internet's best game-related sites. Everything from game news, reviews and downloads. A fantastic time waster all around Check it out.
Onion Sports has quickly become the nation's number-one site for hard-hitting sports news, stats, and information that isn't true. If you hadn't figured this out yet, what The Onion is to news, Onion Sports is to sports.
They state their aim pretty clearly with their domain: A great site for when you're, well, bored. Links, pics, vids, forums, this site has 'em all. Go now!
Since you're going to spend your time clicking around the Internet anyway, why not do it with StumbleUpon? Let them show you everything, including that one site where the Asian girl's eyes follow the mouse. Go. Right now.