'Conversations' Articles
88 total- Wednesday, Jul 18 2007
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Article:
Visits From Insignificant Ghosts
34-year-old Mitchell Larson lies asleep in bed when an iridescent form floats into the room.Ghost: Mitchell… Mitchell…Mitchell: What? Who’s there?Ghost: It is I. I have come from the Great Beyond.Mitchell: It’s not...
KEEP READINGBy Dan Gurewitch
44 likes
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Article:Two Lovesick Tornado Chasers Sit On A Grassy Knoll
-- Wow, that one looks like a dog.-- I don't see it.-- See the big cloud is the head, and the two smaller ones are the ears.-- Oh yeah!-- But the whole formation looks like a funnel to me.-- Where?-- Like the whole thing. It looks like a funnel or...
KEEP READINGBy Amir Blumenfeld 23 likes
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42
- Monday, Jul 16 2007
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Article:Boxers vs. Briefs
Interior: High School Boy's Locker RoomSteve: Hey, Drew, why is it that you always wait until everybody else leaves before you change?Drew: It's just, y'know, I don't want other dudes looking at my bare legs and stuff.Steve: What's the big deal?...
KEEP READINGBy Jeremy Gundel 27 likes
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- Thursday, Jul 12 2007
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Article:Moving Out with Southern Aristocrats
ME: It’s been a great four years living with you guys, but we’d better start thinking of who’s taking some of this stuff home. I’d love to have this futon bed, if nobody else wants it.PERCY: Well now, hold on, good sir. I...
KEEP READINGBy Patrick Cassels 29 likes
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Article:
Conversation between Louis-Philippe, the last king of France, and his son Ferdinand-Philippe
Louis: Son, come here.Ferdinand: Listen, Papa, if this is about me throwing gold coins at the other boys at school, don't worry, I already have plans to have them executed once I'm king.Louis: Actually, that's kinda what I wanted to talk to you...
KEEP READINGBy Amir Blumenfeld 23 likes
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- Monday, Jul 9 2007
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Article:Say It, Don't Spray It.
~Woolworth's lunch counter, 1952~Ralph: And then I slipped in the sandbox--Stewart: Hey man, say it, don't spray it!Louie: Oh my god, did you just make that up right now?Stewart: Yeah...Louie: Wow, that is the funniest way I've ever heard of...
KEEP READINGBy Susanna Wolff 24 likes
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38
- Friday, Jul 6 2007
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Article:A Conversation Between A Tongue and A Penis
Penis: Hey, tongue.Tongue: What's up, dick?Penis: Shakes head. Do you have a minute?Tongue: That's all you ever need.Penis: Okay, enough. We need to talk. Your arrogance has gotten out of control. It's embarrassing.Tongue: Cue the Gin Blossoms?...
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Article:
The A-Hole Zen Buddhist
KATO: Brother Lee, I have glorious news! I was in deep meditation by the coy pond this morning when an overwhelming sense of peace and understanding came over me. And, well, I believe I may have come close to… to complete Nirvana. LEE:...
KEEP READINGBy Patrick Cassels 10 likes
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- Thursday, Jun 28 2007
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Article:A Conversation Between a Chef at a Cruelty Free Restaurant and a Cow
Cow: So this is great, I love hearing about cruelty free restaurants.Chef: Yeah I really feel like I'm doing a good deed.Cow: Tell me about your menu.Chef: Well we have a great garden salad, a delicious flank steak.Cow: What?Chef: Flank steak, to...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz 22 likes
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40
- Wednesday, Jun 27 2007
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Article:How It Happened
INT: A darkened boardroom at Coca-Cola Headquarters in Atlanta, GA, 1964. President: Gentlemen! As you know, I have gathered you here today because our product is currently being outsold by Pepsi. What are you doing to ensure that I make a profit...
KEEP READINGBy Katie Marino 27 likes
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42
- Tuesday, Jun 26 2007
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Article:
The Adventures of the Sidekick Squad
The Sidekick Squad: Five heroic avengers, bringing justice to our world.*MASSIVE EXPLOSION* !split
By Dan Gurewitch 36 likes
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Article:My Irritable Bowel
I hate having irritable bowel syndrome. Here's my day for you.Me: I think I'll turn on some music.Bowel: Don't put on any of those emo bands. You know I hate that crap.Me: I thought you liked crap.Bowel: And I've just about had it with your...
KEEP READINGBy Alexandra P. 18 likes
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- Thursday, Jun 21 2007
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Article:
Dr. Doom
DR. DOOM: —Mr. Fantastic! You have received my demand for world domination. Are you prepared to call me master? Or shall I be forced to activate the Omega Turbine and cause further destruction to your beloved planet?MR. FANTASTIC (on an...
KEEP READINGBy Patrick Cassels 80 likes
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- Tuesday, Jun 19 2007
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Article:
I Think My Girlfriend Is One of Those Girl Victims You Always See In Horror Movies
Me: What do you want to do tonight, babe?Her: I don't know. Let's go down to the basement and talk about it.Me: Why do you always want to go to the basement? It's dark, and wet, and gross.Her: Ugh, you're so not spontaneous.We hear shattered...
KEEP READINGBy Dan Gurewitch 64 likes
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Article:
Back Fired
This was Tara Friedman's first day of teaching 2nd grade. She had spent her last four years as a Resident Advisor at UCLA so she did the only thing she knew how to do...Tara: Okay children, ice breakers! Everybody sit around the rug Indian style....
KEEP READINGBy Amir Blumenfeld 40 likes
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- Friday, Jun 15 2007
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Article:Tragedy Strikes
April 1st, 10:18 AM911 Operator - 911. What's your emergency.Kid - You have to help me!911 Operator - Calm down, young man. What is your emergency?Kid - It's my dad, he's hurt really bad!911 Operator - I'm dispatching an ambulance right now. ...
KEEP READINGBy Streeter Seidell 31 likes
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Article:
A Prompt SAT Meeting
Essay Prompt from the June 2007 SAT I:Have modern advancements truly improved the quality of people's lives? INT. College Board Headquarters—A Balmy Night in the Recent Past The end. Prompt.
KEEP READINGBy Susanna Wolff 51 likes
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- Monday, Jun 11 2007
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Article:
Maine and Massachusetts Get Into An Argument - 1822
We pick things up in the middle of their fight.Massachusetts: ...Look, I came first, so I'm taking it. It’s better suited for me anyway.Maine: That's ridiculous. It works just as well for me as it does for you. Plus, I'm much, much bigger....
KEEP READINGBy Streeter Seidell 49 likes
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Article:Man vs. Wild meets Survivorman
While filming for their next episode, Les Stroud of "Survivorman" and Bear Grylls of "Man vs. Wild" cross paths in the wilderness of Alaska. Here's what follows:Bear: It's very important to stay as warm and rubbing animal feces on yourself is a...
KEEP READING - Wednesday, Jun 6 2007
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Article:
A Man Of Vision
Springfield, MA - 1854 An inventor, Finneus Figgly, has just created his greatest invention yet. Even though it is 2 AM, he sends a messenger to fetch his friend, Cornelius Butress from a neighboring house. He can barely contain his excitement. ...
KEEP READINGBy Streeter Seidell 16 likes
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