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Article:Inquiries at the Fame Office
Los Angeles 2030:Mike: Hi, uhh...is this the fame office?Attendant: Yes, is there something I can help you with today sir?Mike: Well, yeah, I'd like to use my fifteen minutes of fame now.Attendant: Alright sir, let's get your file up. What's your...
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Article:The Future of Warfare
Ypres, Belgium - November 15, 1914The Battle of Ypres rages as two German soldiers keep watch over the British trenches. German Soldier 1: My God, who would have thought soldiers would be reduced to this? Sitting in trenches,...
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Article:Gotham City Deja Vu
O'Hara: Which one? The jheri-curled black guy from the malt liquor ads? Or the loud, crazy weirdo in the purple zebra-striped suit?Michaels: Neither, O'Hara. Neither.O'Hara: Ah, I see what you mean.
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Article:Stereotypical Teen Movie from The Cool Kid
INT SCHOOL HALLWAY. Kyle is at his locker, wearing a varsity lacrosse jacket. His girlfriend, Becky, the hottest girl in school, stands next to him, standoffishly.Kyle: So, about prom. Do you want to go in the limo with the guys, or do...
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Article:A Sore Subject
Turkey: Oh... hey, Eagle. What's up?Eagle: Not much, how have you been? I haven't seen you in at least three hundred years, my fair-feathered brethren. [Turkey self-consciously strokes his wattle.]Turkey: Ha. I know, right? I've been ca-razy busy...
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Article:Patriots Locker Room Chat
Coach Bill Belichick discusses a new game plan with offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels after Tom Brady's season-ending injury.Belichick: How's Brady look?McDaniels: Pretty bad.Belichick: Do we need to resort to an emergency plan?McDaniels:...
KEEP READINGBy Fatawesome -
Article:The Doctor Is Always In
After waiting for a few minutes, Michael Kingston is greeted by his primary care physician.Dr. Norton: Mr. Kingston, how are we today?Mr. Kingston: Oh hey doc, not too bad, but the throat's been sore for a few days now.Dr. Norton: Sorry to hear...
KEEP READINGBy Conor McKeon -
Article:The Nightmare Before College
Honey, are you OK? You were screaming. Me: Quick, where do I go to college and what kind of music does my roommate like? Mom: You work part-time at Best Buy and your father and I like smooth jazz. Why? Me: Oh thank God. Thank God so very much. I...
KEEP READINGBy Ben Joseph -
Article:Coffee Hits My Stomach
Stomach: OK, let's get some enzymes on that bread he ate last night. We should really start breaking it down. Enzymes: Do we have to?Stomach: Welllllll, I guess not. Maybe we can wait till after he eats lunch. I'm pretty...
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Article:Imagined Conversaton: Annoying Girls In Class
Mary: Hey Jill, how are we going to super annoy the shiz out of Jason today?Jill: I don't know, want to tap the back of his chair and act oblivious to his signals that he's getting annoyed?Mary: Well, yeah, but we did that yesterday...Jill:...
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Article:Style Changes
1994Mom: Steve, try on these Bugle Boy pants I bought you.Me: OK.Mom: The cuffs are stretchy so you don't tear them when you play.Me: I pooped in them already.!slice1996Me: Fellas, the Big Dog is in da house! See, it says so on my shirt.Lucas: We...
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Article:N64 Wingmen
Jerry: Alright guys, I'm gonna go talk to that cute girl up at the bar. One of you mind chatting up her friend?Falco: I'll take this one! You get the one behind me!Jerry: That's the wrong girl! Falco, WAIT.Peppy: I'm GOIN' IN!Slippy: Fox! Get this...
KEEP READINGBy Brian Murphy -
Article:Indiana Jones has to explain himself to the Barnett College Dean
Dr. Jones walks into the deans office.Dean: Dr. Jones.....Jones: Look I know what you are gonna say, I know I have missed a lot of work.Dean: Dr. Jones, you have been absent for seventy five percent of your classes this year alone.A long silence...
KEEP READINGBy Josh Krebs -
Article:Battle at the Bar
A conversation between different parts of my body, as I'm sitting at a bar:Pants Brigade: Limp and ready for action, sir!Captain Noggin: Private Eye! I need a status check now.Private Eye: We got a bogey moving in at 2 miles per hour. She...
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Article:Inside the locker-room of an opposing basketball team from the movie "Hoosiers"
Inside the locker-room of an opposing basketball team from the movie Hoosiers, a day before they play against the small-town team which the movie depicts:Coach - Alright guys, tomorrow we face Hickory, Indiana in the state quarterfinals. Our...
KEEP READINGBy kyle swartz -
Article:Mythical Creature Convention
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Article:The Real "Rock Band" Tour Bus
Drummer: Driver, step on it!Guitarist: Those fans are crazy. Someone threw a brick at me...like a real live brick...Drummer: Enough bitching! What the hell happened to you back there Chad?Guitarist: Umm, I started playing poorly?Drummer: So...
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Article:My Only Visit To University Health Services
Nurse: Okay... your name?Me: Josh.Nurse: And you pregnant?Me: Huh.Nurse: I know this is sensitive. Take your time.Me: I'm not pregnant. In fact, I'm sure I'm not pregnant.Nurse: Be honest.!sliceMe: I'm a man! I physically cannot give birth.Nurse:...
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Article:Somali Pirate Adventures
"Somali pirates seize ship with 33 tanks" -CNN.comSomewhere off the coast of Africa, on the deck of a hijacked boat...Pirate 1: Man, I love being a pirate.Pirate 2: Me too. Pirate 3: Check this out!Pirate 3 punches innocent bystander in the...
KEEP READINGBy Owen Parsons

