"Had a pirates vs ninjas kegger. This is the aftermath."

Hold on! I think... I... can... almost... reach.... it....

This is the text message I got from my cousin, "I'm fine, watching 2 dogs fuckin, ran off the road climbed a bank and flipped." He totaled the truck.

The roof is!

"I'm at Denny's with some friends and one of them comes back from the bathroom saying something about the towel dispenser landing in the stall while he was in there. He said, while he was on the toilet, some biker looking guy got mad because there were no towels and ripped it off the wall."

No prison can hold the Kool Aid Man.

Note to the snow plow that did this - cars are not snow.

Attic tag seemed like a great idea.

"Umass riots even when we lose. Thats true team spirit."

Looks they're finally instituting that Hummer penalty we've been asking for.

Evidently there's a reason for this warning.

OHH YEAH!!

"We threw a party at our apartment, and one of the kids decided to sleep/pass out in his car. At some point during the night he had a dream that he was sleeping in his car and had to pee really badly, so he kicked out his window and crawled out. It's a 2004 Lexus."

"My buddy thought it would be funny to hit a can of red spray paint with a claw-hammer." Looks like he was right.

We got drunk and discovered a portal to the next room!

So bottle rockets can destroy a toilet. Good to know.

Willing to destroy his desk, but not make a mess on the floor.

If you keep their security deposit, you hate freedom.

Woodworking 101.

Why are the current tennants leaving?