Could you pass the ice cream?

He looks like Martha Dumptruck.

Diet birthday cake.

"Eating 450 Krystal Boxes in 2.5 years! Construction based on the Washington Monument. When we rolled up to the Kyrstal store with it they treated us like celebrities. We are getting this picture posted in the store, we have a month worth of free food, as well as making it to the Krystal's Hall of Fame with our faces on the hamburger boxes."

They stopped when we ran out of mud.

Just hook a blizzard IV into my veins, thanks.

One half of the fat twins on mopeds.

I hate Mondays!

Like you're some prize.

If the jet ski doesn't work, someone could just pop him with a pin and he'd go flying.

It looks like the front of that car is going to lift up any second.

I'm With Classy --->

"We start by taping the kid until he couldn't move (it took about four rolls). Then, we put him in the elevator where someone was waiting for him on the first floor. He was moved to the girl's dorm and left in their elevator with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign taped to his chest. We thought it was funny but the fat RA from the girls dorm didn't."

"My buddy Charlie decided to invite some fat girls back to our hotel room. As soon as they showed up one passed out on the floor between the wall and the bed and the other on the bed face down, ass in the air. They wouldn't wake up so we took one's dignity by using her ass as a fast food table. Then we woke them up and kicked them out."

If you're already grossed out by this picture, you may not want to read the next sentence. That's his roommate's bed.

Maybe she's going to move through it, like the T-1000.