If 21st Century Girls Had 17th Century Standards

Tricia and Kara, two extremely hot girls, are laying out in the quad. Tricia: Oh my god, Kara, take a look at Henry Popper over there laying on the bench.Kara: Wow. Look at that healthy, full gut. He must be like, totally well fed and wealthy....

Famous Presidential Quotes, Translated

George W. BushEvery nation in every region now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.F*ck you, Switzerland.Abraham LincolnFourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new...

Semantics

Saigon, April 30th, 1975America quietly boards a helicopter. A surprised North Vietnam emerges from the jungle.Vietnam: Hey...hey, are you guys leaving?USA: Yup, this is taking forever, you know. We'll just call it a tie and be on our way.Vietnam:...

Chris Berman Teaches His Son About World War II

This week, we see ESPN personality Chris Berman helping his 10-year-old son study for his upcoming History test.Chris Berman’s Kid (CBK): Hey dad, I need your help with this history test I’ve got coming up. Do you have a sec?Chris...

How Your History TA Reads Your Papers

My Predictable Ideas About Transportation and the Ante-Bellum Economy The South skim a bit skim a bit skim a bit skim a bit. Something about slavery, railroads, wagon trails, canals force the South into an inevitable position which I’m...

Did You Know... World War II?

DID YOU KNOW... WORLD WAR II?Did you know World War II was green lit after the success of World War I? Did you know that when Roosevelt said "You have nothing to fear but fear itself," he was talking about the international crime organization F.E....

The Diary of Christopher Columbus

Spacing Out

On July 20th, 1969, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin became the first humans to walk to on the moon. A third crew member, Michael Collins, piloted the command module which remained in orbit around the moon. This is a transcript of communications...

Founding Fathers

THOMAS JEFFERSON: Fellow congressmen, I have at last completed our Declaration of Independence. Who among you will be the first to sign this document?JOHN ADAMS: I shall give my signature--JOHN HANCOCK: No, that's cool, Adams. Step aside, I got...

Great Americans

Gandhi ME: Okay. Mahatma, though you aren't an American, your legacy of non-violence and equality among people of all kinds is a wonderful example for our country. Do you have any words of wisdom for the United States?GANDHI:  Whenever you have...

Letter from Private Trent Hafner to Tom Curley, President of the Associated Press

Dear Mr. Curley,Sixty-two years ago, in the midst of a historic battle, six of our finest men ran atop Mount Suribachi and raised an American flag on a makeshift flagpole. I know this because I was there, Mr. Curley. I was at Iwo Jima with my men...

Ellis Island Inspector's Manual - 1913

A Man Of Vision

Springfield, MA - 1854 An inventor, Finneus Figgly, has just created his greatest invention yet.  Even though it is 2 AM, he sends a messenger to fetch his friend, Cornelius Butress from a neighboring house.  He can barely contain his excitement. ...

Sometimes You Just Have to Die Before You're Appreciated...

INT: CaveCaveman 1: Hey check this thing out, it's shaped like a circle and it moves around easier than big rocks.Caveman 2: What are you gonna use it for?Caveman 1: I don't know, but I'm gonna call it a wheel, just remember I invented the wheel....

Real History

For those of you hoping to squeeze a few more points out of that term paper, we bring you:Lesser Known Facts of History50,000 BC: A lonely Caveman invents the Vagina; replacing the spiny fruit that previously occupied the area.30 AD: Jesus nailed...

Old Fashioned Fun

Learn Something took a little vacation but it being finals time and all, Mental Floss and I have returned to impart more vital knowledge on your eager young minds.  Today we're learning about...Old Timey Drinking GamesBloody FunWhere:...

Not-So-Famous Historical Quotes

"I'm so proud of being elected President. I'm going to remember this day for the rest of my life." -Ronald Reagan!split  

A list of drinking games invented in Ireland during the Potato Famine

Drink Yourself Unhungry Edward Empty Hands Take a Shot of Dad's Watered Down Whiskey and Pray We Don't Get  Dysentery "Crop Failure" - Down a pint for every potato you lost 'Quarters" -  Except nobody had any quarters so they just...

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Booby"

BOOBY – a woman's luscious breastBoobies are neat; I like them.Until the 1950's the word "boob" referred only to a foolish or stupid person. Wealthy American families in those times would often invite someone who was silly or mildly retarded...

A History Of Highness

Put your learning hats on, kids, because it's raining knowledge.  This week Mental Floss and I are teaming up to teach you about...Marijuana Milestones1200 (B.C.): Cannabis has been around for a while, but the 1200’s marks the first...