CollegeHumor: Home Improvement Stuff This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787179 12 Television Characters We Never See (Even Though They Were On TV) Wed, 01 Jul 2009 18:15:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787179 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Since Samuel Beckett's "Waiting For Godot," the characters we don't see have been far more powerful than the ones we do. We've never seen Waiting For Godot and never go to the theater, so we looked at Wilson, Nanny, and 10 other TV personalities everyone knows, but nobody recognizes.

George Steinbrenner, Seinfeld
Many of TV's never-seen characters serve as omnipotent gurus whose baritone voices provide much-needed wisdom, like explaining to Tim why his wife's mental health is more important than the Detroit Auto Show. But nobody in Seinfeld's twisted New York was this rational -- not Jerry's neurotic best friends, not the fascist soup proprietor down the street, and certainly not the show's resident unseen force: New York Yankees owner (and boss of George Costanza) George Steinbrenner, whose nasally, scratchy voice (provided by series co-creator Larry David) offered George less advice, and more endless diatribes on the best place to sit in a hot tub and the many virtues of the calzone.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1562982"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/5/collegehumor.a38249fddab8bb4c357d45a5e57a11dc.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-07-01 18:15:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1562982">Jeff & Patrick</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 191 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1887378 Al Borland Mon, 03 Nov 2008 07:46:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1887378 Al Borland nonadult comedy That's Albert E. Borland to you! Al Borland, Tool Time, Home Improvement, halloween 2008, costume, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1887378"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/3/collegehumor.381952434410c7e0f091a293c783c565.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:176296">Tony Savino</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:244"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 22 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> <![CDATA[These aren't nearly as cool as my DBZ/Linkin Park mash-up. That was so tight]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:200712 Fri, 17 Oct 2008 08:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1812409 MORE POWER!!! Wed, 23 Apr 2008 10:06:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1812409 MORE POWER!!! nonadult comedy MORE POWER!!! funny name, home improvement, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1812409"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/a/collegehumor.fb9f455367c835b1c43c6dcaed57ab3f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1143302">Agent Darkbootie</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 24 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1794685 CH Video Games Weekly: Licensed Atrocities Fri, 21 Dec 2007 16:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1794685 CH Video Games Weekly: Licensed Atrocities nonadult comedy This week, Jeff and High Times Editorial Office's Ben Schwartz take a trip through some of the worst licensed games of all time. bleep bloop, videogame, shaq, cheetos, hook, home alone back to the future home improvement <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1794685"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/b/collegehumor.9c8d7ea9fc499f392ffd449bcbdc05b5.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:279">Jeff Rubin</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:215"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 236 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1782940 Home Improvement Mon, 29 Oct 2007 11:20:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1782940 Home Improvement nonadult comedy That's actually Taran Noah Smith dressed as Wilson. home improvement, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1782940"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/6/collegehumor.66e5faa143ab3090bba0b17665c05696.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:10460">Allen</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:200"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 44 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1732005 Tim Taylor: Jackass of the '90s Fri, 25 May 2007 14:19:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1732005 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
 Before the era of YouTube and Jackass, adolescents looking to laugh at hilariously painful stunts had one source: the popular ABC sitcom Home Improvement. Kids tuned-in to the otherwise dull show throughout the 1990s for one reason: to witness star Tim Allen suffer horrific injury as Tool Time host Tim Taylor. A noble predecessor to Jackass, Taylor was being burned, bludgeoned, shocked and cut long before Knoxville had suffered his first kick in the groin.


"Knoxville Stun-Gun" vs. "Fishing Pole Into Socket"


In one of Jackass's most famous stunts, Knoxville acts as a human test dummy for a series of self-defense items, including a number of powerful TASERS that send him to the ground in involuntary convulsions. Nevertheless, the Tool Man is dealt an even larger shock when he smashes the end of a graphite fishing rod into the live socket of a Tool Time studio light, presumably carrying an industrial-strength voltage far greater than that of a non-lethal weapon.

"Poo Cocktail" vs. "Four-Story Toilet Fall"
An early exploit of Knoxville's had him climbing into a portable toilet and the structure flipped upside down—spilling its excrement all over the daredevil. While the stunt no doubt exposed Knoxville to an entire culture of disease, it lacks the supplemental injury suffered by Tim Taylor. While attempting to demonstrate the ease with which a construction worker might repel down a high rise, Taylor plummets 50 feet through a port-a-potty roof where, one may assume, the Tool Man's velocity sent him through the toilet seat and into the human waste below.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:101226"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/b/collegehumor.bf47a312f8c3b3d327c1333b4268bdca.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-05-25 14:19:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:101226">Patrick Cassels</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:857"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 9 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1721106 I always suspected Wilson was a pervert. Sat, 04 Nov 2006 13:00:48 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1721106 I always suspected Wilson was a pervert. nonadult comedy I always suspected Wilson was a pervert. Home Improvement, Halloween 2006, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1721106"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/a/collegehumor.21458b7de35f90ea91aad5ca05c70f06.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 11 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1717638 Does everybody know what time it is? Tue, 31 Oct 2006 13:00:58 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1717638 Does everybody know what time it is? nonadult comedy Does everybody know what time it is? Home Improvement, Halloween 2006, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1717638"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/2/collegehumor.273f06c8049556b3967efec24625833a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:68122">Sean</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 25 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1627201 This picture is better than every episode of Home Improvement. Sun, 06 Nov 2005 01:18:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1627201 This picture is better than every episode of Home Improvement. nonadult comedy This picture is better than every episode of Home Improvement. cleavage, halloween 2005, home improvement, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1627201"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/5/5/collegehumor.044746450068f1be7723ffc5a48062f5.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1004471">rocco</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:172"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 213 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1625673 "Al's tool belt held a surprising 8 beers!" Wed, 02 Nov 2005 23:15:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1625673 "Al's tool belt held a surprising 8 beers!" nonadult comedy "Al's tool belt held a surprising 8 beers!" halloween 2005, Home Improvement, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1625673"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/e/collegehumor.769dba3b3beaf348fc9c11ce7d9138b8.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1621295 Well! Heidi-ho neighbor Tim! Mon, 31 Oct 2005 13:57:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1621295 Well! Heidi-ho neighbor Tim! nonadult comedy Well! Heidi-ho neighbor Tim! halloween 2005, Home Improvement, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1621295"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/9/collegehumor.3b10a62db08f220935b570e9dbc39108.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1621295">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:91684 Wilson from Home Improvement Wed, 17 Nov 2004 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:91684 Wilson from Home Improvement nonadult comedy Wilson from Home Improvement halloween, home improvement, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:91684"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/4/collegehumor.5fe2d9c0d0b8f6164e0026f405263eb8.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />