CollegeHumor: Insults Stuff This Month

Insulting Equation

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 12:15:00 -0400

<table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1919233"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/9/collegehumor.c21a354431a8419ead874dd9eb31a581.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2117025">SMBC Theater</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 77 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

The I Have To Go In A Minute Show: Bluetooth Insults

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:39:00 -0400

<table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1821427"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/c/collegehumor.4e9c82ddc62d74d429a9e94cbd1da3a0.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 179 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

Hardly Working: Insults

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 12:58:48 -0400

<table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1772384"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/f/collegehumor.530cd921d2e01f5884afb66f259802b8.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 762 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

And F you too!

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 01:47:00 -0400

<table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1766048"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/f/2/collegehumor.50f969cf9df2b3f4918467122e1001d6.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:257348">michael</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 12 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Insults

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 01:59:08 -0400

<table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Need to prove your comedic prowess to your fellow bro-mo sapiens? Can’t find the words to whisper sweet nothings into your girlfriend’s ear? Don’t know how to address that email to your professor? Well then, this guide is for you.

A properly delivered insult can have marvelous effects on your relationships with others. How are you ever going to be able to come up with fresh insults, you ask? Simple, my friend. Just follow this insult template:

�� 1.� Pick any swear word that’s a noun.
��� 2.� Pick a verb that either implies ingestion, close contact, affection or any combination thereof.
�� 3.� Pick another swear word that’s a noun.
�� 4.� Combine the word you picked in #3 with a food item.

For example:

�� “You piss guzzling nazi-salad!”

And remember, the more asinine the insult, the better the results!� It doesn't matter if the combination you choose doesn't make sense -- confusing your helpless victim is a bonus and sure to ensue hilarity!

Below is a sample list of words you can use. Column A includes dirty nouns, so-called swear words, and can be amended to your liking. While by no means complete, Column B is a list of verbs to be used in your future insults, and should be restricted to verbs that imply ingestion, close contact, or affection. Column C presents a list of food items, and allows for the most artistic freedom – use any food item you prefer, because let’s face it, the Nazi-salad you’re talking to would probably eat anything.

Keep Reading

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:53580"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/7/collegehumor.e194824265d42598f72ad9076b856199.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:53580">GaTekChiclet</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:593"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 154 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

Drop-Off Lines

Sat, 12 May 2007 01:14:51 -0400

<table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> You know those cheesy pick-up lines that got you into that frustrating relationship?

There's only one known antidote, like water for fire or robots for cancer.� It's these zingers that'll wind up your relationship quick!

1.� It must have hurt... when you dragged yourself up from Hell.

2.� Is it hot in here, or do you have some kind of glandular condition that causes you to sweat a lot?

3.� Was your daddy a baker?� Because you're kind of obese.

4. (Throw water at them.)� You should get out of those wet clothes.� You know, eventually.

5.� If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd eliminate U.

6.� What's someone like you doing in a nice place like this?

7.� Excuse me, do you have any raisins?� How about a date?� Oh, sorry, I meant the fruit.

8.� Do you wash your pants in Windex?� Because it looks as though there is something seriously wrong with your pants.

9.� Is that a peanut in your pocket, or is that just the biggest erection you've ever experienced?

View Article

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:824699"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/3/collegehumor.6c2cf4027728b525f6c79df371427c7a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:824699">Alexandra P.</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:186"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 137 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />