'Letters' Articles
25 total- Monday, Mar 10 2008
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Article:My Letter to Michael Cera
Dear Michael,What's up? Things are good here - just school work and such. So you probably don't know who I am (unless you happened to know me through like three friends or something, which would be really CRAZY since I didn't think you knew me but...
KEEP READINGBy Dan Amerman
199 likes
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82
- Friday, Feb 22 2008
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Article:INVITE: New Society
Where: Henderson's Field, MontanaStart: 9:00 a.m.End: ????Hey Gang! It's that time of the year again. The time of the year where we try to throw off the oppressive trappings of "modern society" and start all over again. I know we ran into some...
KEEP READINGBy FunBox Comedy 12 likes
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29
- Wednesday, Aug 22 2007
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Article:
A Letter of Complaint to the Landlord from the Neighbor of the West Side Story Kids
Mr. Lupinski,My neighbors on the 6th floor here at Tenement Towers have been causing quite a ruckus and, frankly, I've had enough. The Puerto Ricans sing so loudly that I can hear it through the walls; but when I ask them to repeat a particularly...
KEEP READING - Monday, Aug 13 2007
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Article:Can I Just Get My Shirt Back?
Dear Ex-Girlfriend,I know we ended things on a bit of a bad note the other week and I understand that we’ve gone out separate ways and all, but I really need to talk to you about something really important. I’m not going to beg you to...
KEEP READINGBy Jeff Rosenberg 30 likes
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64
- Friday, Aug 10 2007
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Article:The Letter Eminem Wrote Right After Writing Stan Back
While Eminem's letter to Stan was probably his most famous, it was actually only one of many letters Em responded to that day. Take a look at this letter the famous rap star wrote right after writing Stan back.
KEEP READINGBy Amir Blumenfeld 21 likes
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98
- Friday, Jul 27 2007
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Article:
Middle Class Dad Writes Complaint to My Super Sweet 16
Dear Producers of MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16”,My name is Stan Michelson and I’m writing to you on behalf of my soon to be 16-year-old daughter Stacie. See, Stacie absolutely loves your program. The thing is I really think you...
KEEP READINGBy Jeff Rosenberg 79 likes
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158
- Tuesday, Jul 17 2007
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Article:To The Douche Who Broke My Model Airplane
Dear Dirtbag,I know where you live. If I didn’t, would this letter be under your door? No. I know what you look like. You look like a big dumpy butthole that farts a lot. You are losing your hair and that goatee you grew to compensate is...
KEEP READINGBy jake barnes 19 likes
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27
- Friday, Jul 6 2007
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Article:My Summer Internship Welcomes Me
Hello future leader. Welcome to the bustling world of business at Jashoda Industries. First of all, thank you for showing interest in our particular field. Rest assured, we have as much interest in you as you do in us. That’s what it means...
KEEP READINGBy Nelson Greaves 6 likes
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14
- Monday, Jul 2 2007
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Article:A Diabolical Plot
June 20th, 2007Skin, How goes our plan? Has the groundwork been laid? May I proceed with the plot? I await your word to begin the process.- SunJune 22nd, 2007Sun,Try as I might I have not been able to produce the mood in our target which is...
KEEP READINGBy Streeter Seidell 38 likes
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38
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Article:A Letter From Al Powell the Cop From Die Hard 1 (Aka Reginald Vel Johnson)
Dear Bruce Willis,What the hell, man? Do I look like assh*le? Because you keep wiping me to the side every chance you get. I mean C'MON! I can't believe you made another "Die Hard" movie without ME...Sgt. Al F-ing Powell. Need I remind you that I...
KEEP READINGBy Paul Scheer 10 likes
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30
- Friday, Jun 22 2007
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Article:Rejection Letter from the Marcel Marceau Academy of Mime
Dear Mr. Goodwin,We have recently received your application and audition tape for the consideration of this prestigious academy. However, upon review of your submission it has become obvious that you lack the necessary knowledge of the art of...
KEEP READINGBy Aaron Peever 14 likes
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18
- Monday, Jun 18 2007
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Article:A Letter to Dakota Fanning from Jodie Merson, Former BFF.
Dear Dakota,It’s Jodie. Jodie Merson from Grover Creek Elementary. Remember me? We went to elementary school together before you moved off to Hollywood to become a big f*cking star. Still don’t remember me? Well, just to refresh...
KEEP READINGBy Elaine Carroll 28 likes
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37
- Wednesday, Jun 13 2007
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Article:
A Letter Home From A Kid Who Thinks He's At Magic Camp But Is Really At Fat Camp
Dear Mom and Dad,I’m having a great time so far at Camp Make-it-Disappear. I’m meeting a whole bunch of cool kids here and am making a lot of new friends. Thanks so much for sending me to magic camp. It seems a lot different than what...
KEEP READINGBy Aaron Peever 54 likes
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48
- Thursday, May 31 2007
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Article:A Confession Down Below
Dear Mom,I have been silent for too long. I thought Dad would eventually tell you, but I see now that he is engulfed by his addiction and will never admit it to you. So I must. Mom, Dad likes Steven Segal movies. I just do not understand it. You...
KEEP READING - Tuesday, May 29 2007
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Article:Dating For Business Majors: Letter of Recommendation
Greetings future business leaders of America! What would you say if I told you that I knew a way you could double your income, increase your benefits and add precious dollars to your retirement fund? Now what if I told you that you could do all of...
KEEP READINGBy Kevin Corrigan 26 likes
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25
- Thursday, May 24 2007
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Article:
Response to My Letter from Intellicorp Regarding My Requests for a Custom Robot
Dear Mr. Peever,I regret to inform you that we will not be able to fill your request that we received earlier this month. At this time, Intellicorp is not specializing in sale of its products to private citizens.I am also concerned that there may...
KEEP READINGBy Aaron Peever 53 likes
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102
- Tuesday, May 1 2007
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Article:Honest Rejection Letter From Prestigious Liberal Arts College
Dear applicant,Thank you for applying to Prestigious Liberal Arts College. Actually, forget I said that. I’m kind of annoyed you wasted my time. I’m a very busy, important person, and every application is ten more minutes that I’...
KEEP READINGBy Steve Hofstetter 45 likes
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53
- Monday, Apr 30 2007
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Article:King Leonidas Is A Terrible Roommate
To the Office of Residential Life and Housing,First off, I am completely aware that I marked down on that form in the beginning of the year that I’d be fine with a transfer roommate. However, due to mitigating circumstances I am strongly...
KEEP READING - Wednesday, Apr 11 2007
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Article:A Letter from Snood
Hey man, it’s me, Snood. Yeah, I know...it’s been a while. A little over five years, actually...but hey, who’s counting, right? I mean, it’s not like I’m psychotically stalking you or anything. The only reason I...
KEEP READING - Friday, Mar 23 2007
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Article:
Complaint to Madame Tamara's Ladies of the Night Escort Service
Madame Tamara,You and I have a bone to pick. It’s about my escort last Thursday. Thing is…I’m going to have to ask for a full refund for the services rendered by Vicky. And let me just state – this is not her fault, so...
KEEP READINGBy 14 likes
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