"Lists" Stuff
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Article:Complaints From The Guy Who Misses The Big Picture
Every single time I'm done boning my girlfriend, she makes me take a shower. It's so f*cking annoying! I swear, if I have to make one more trip to the bank to deposit a check, I'm going to straight up murder someone. Why did you guys...
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Article:Things That Don't Impress Girls
In the particularly awkward phase of making conversation with a girl, it is easy to repulse them with conversation that simply does not appeal to the mass of female society.Best bet is to just let them do the talking.Allow them vent about how...
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Article:Open Letter to the Guy Watching Porn in the Campus Computer Lab
Dear guy watching porn in the campus computer lab,Let's make a couple of things clear: I realize you like hardcore pornography. Who doesn't? However, not having the internet at home is no excuse for watching it in a public setting, like a...
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Article:Guaranteed Ways To Get Rid Of Your One Night Stand
Girl: I usually don’t do that on the first night.Me: Wow that chloroform wore off quick. Are you immune or something?...Girl: Was I better than the last girl you were with?Me: Let’s go ask her. She is still chained to the radiator in...
KEEP READINGBy Matt Grode -
Article:A Summary of 99% Of Your Facebook Friends
Holy God, this is a long list. I don't know if it's funny but it's definitely comprehensive. Enjoy.-StreetThe Lonely AsianThe single Asian on your friends list. He’s a really awesome guy, but only because he has to represent his kind.The...
KEEP READINGBy Kevin T. -
Article:Rejected Titles For Rap Songs
• Golfin’ Wit My Glock • Sparkin’ My Blunt of Charity and Goodwill• Bitch Im’a Respect You• What Time Is It?? (Afternoon Tea!!)• Ganja in the Grocery Store• Lose Yourself (At...
KEEP READINGBy Salomone -
Article:I Think So
The following are questions that make you answer, "I think so."- Is there a place that is half an hour ahead or behind another place? Likea half time zone?- Is steam also just H20?- Could you create a billion page document on Microsoft Word?- Is...
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Article:The Perfect Girl vs. The Perfect Computer
More surprising similarities from two seemingly unrelated things. Both the perfect girl and the perfect computer should have: Sleek, solid constructions Several compliant ports Interior free of dust or...
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Article:What Can Be Learned From Watching Movies Set in the 50's
In the late 50's.... Everyone was Italian Popping your collar really was cool Every girl owned a pink jacket Every person wore a sweater or leather jacket You were either a nerd, jock, or greaser Motorcycles did not need ramps to...
KEEP READINGBy Brett -
Article:
Pick-Up Lines of the Incredibly Creepy
You've seen them in the clubs, usually far away from the dance floor, clinging to the bar. They eye everything that comes through the door: big, small, male female, doesn't matter to them. If that's not enough for you, you can also weed out the...
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Article:Several Exclaimations from the 1920's and two that aren't
Jimmy Christmas!Color me chartreuse!Blow me down!That's the bee's knees my boy!Pound me sideways with a strap-on!Peanuts!Fiddlesticks!Wow, the year 1982 really went by fast!
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Article:
Trite Jokes You Would Hear Over And Over Again If You Worked As An Iron Smelter
Too hot for you?Gettin' a little hot and heavy here, isn't it?That's unexpected; some would even say "Ironic."Smelt you later!Lost your glasses on the job? Go check in the lost and Foundry!What radio station do you listen to work...oh wait, I...
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Article:
Alternate Titles for Loverboy's "Everybody's Working for the Weekend"
-Everybody's Working For The Respect of Their Father-Everybody's Working For A Vietnamese Sweatshop-Everybody's Working For K-Mart Because The Clinic Won't Give Everybody Their Methadone If They Can't Prove Legal Employment-Everybody's Working...
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Article:Why I Love Abercrombie and Fitch...
Man Oh Man, I Love Abercrombie and Fitch. It is totally is the coolest store in the mall. I heard last week it totally kicked Pac Sun's ass.Wow! Great Sleeveless PolosMichael Showalter calls The Human Giant to task when we talk about our comedic...
KEEP READINGBy Paul Scheer -
Article:Useless Things
Over the years I’ve come across a number of useless things that are not ironically used the most often by useless people. Read on to listen to me bitch about them.Paper Weights: Let me offer you an alternative to stationing an anvil on your...
KEEP READINGBy Matt Z -
Article:Being a Classroom Douchebag
Are you an attention-seeking whore? Do you feel like the only way to reinforce and validate your identity is through conspicuous conduct in the classroom? Do you have an overblown sense of self-consciousness that can only be alleviated by...
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Article:The College Humor Guide To The Age Of 19
19 sucks. It's a year of your life that you will inevitably piss away. So here’s a weekly planner for how to successfully do just that.Week 1. Resist using water until someone of the opposite sex mentions it Week 2. Teach a toddler a swear...
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Article:8 Things I Learned From Watching Pro Wrestling
1. The manliest men always wear the least clothing.2. Face paint can only make you cooler.3. People from the Pacific Islands are all bloodthirsty savages who can't talk.4. Beating the crap out of your boss will get you a promotion.5. Chest hair is...
KEEP READINGBy Adam W -
Article:15 Psychology Terms That Could Easily Double As Awesome Band Names
Selective Distortion The Superegos Broca's Area Bystander Intervention Crystallized Intelligence The Double-Barreled Questions Fluid Intelligence Criterion Validity Catharsis The Inferential Statistics...
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Article:Things I do on Saturdays that I immediately regret on Sunday morning
Play a 50-turn game of Mario PartyIt always seems like a great idea at the time--sitting with a bunch of friends, pulling out the old N64, and popping in Mario Party 2, clearly the best of the series. Yet after an hour, you often wonder why the...
KEEP READINGBy Will Riebel
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