CollegeHumor: Lists Stuff This Month http://www.collegehumor.com <![CDATA[My goal in life is to have a pizza named after me]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:227956 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:00:02 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790256 How To Get Any Girl To Sleep With You (Part 2) Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790256 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>


This week on Springer
1. Find Her Best Friend and Hit on Her

The modern woman isn't afraid of a challenge and nothing sparks that competitive flame within us all like pitting two friends against each other. Here's the thing fellas, behind every obnoxious BFF LYLAS 4 EVA friendship is the insatiable desire to claw each others' eyes out. Why else would chicks dig pillow fights and mud wrestling so much? Start talking up the object of your desire (henceforth known as "Prey") and then flip the switch and go for her friend. I know what you're thinking, "Won't they both see through my thinly veiled attempt to double my odds?" The answer, of course, is no. We're not that smart.


2. Be Yourself

Now that you've got the attention of her and her friend, feel free to just let your guard down and be... hahaha just kidding.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1745270"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/5/collegehumor.d6d633329d67c3bcecc4e765cb8b517f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-11-16 15:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1745270">Marina Cockenberg</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 23 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793734 9 Celebrity Package Names Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793734 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> It's a well-known fact that guys like to name their junk. Balls, shaft, the whole package. Celebrities are no different. Through extensive personal research, I managed to compile this list of celebs and the nicknames that they have for their bits and pieces.

NOTE: In case it's not clear, balls are listed first. Of course.






Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons:
Itchy, Scratchy, Bleeding Gums Murphy











Robert DeNiro, actor:
The Untouchables, Raging Bull

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2118279"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/a/collegehumor.d8ae6edc140afcc0462f9f3abd2a3461.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-11-16 12:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2118279">Jon Wolf</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:287"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 26 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> <![CDATA[Where does a muppet go after he's kicked off Sesame Street? I guess Hell, maybe?]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:227408 Fri, 13 Nov 2009 08:00:04 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794088 The 5 People You Really Should Not Be Friends With on Facebook Wed, 11 Nov 2009 17:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794088 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>




5. That Person Who Lives On Your Floor Freshman Year
You don't know them now, and you won't know them later. Friending them 2 weeks into college just assures you'll be consistently invited to events from whatever obscure club they joined to actually make friends until you finally de-friend them senior year. And you'll still feel bad doing it.













4. Your Boss
Just because you sling espresso drinks together at Starbucks on the weekends does NOT mean you'll want to see his family pictures. Kiss any work-related FML's goodbye or expect an awkward comment both on Facebook and when you don the green apron.







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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2137237"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/a/collegehumor.5acc24905249c461d51032da3fb7ee6a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-11-11 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2137237">Emily</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 188 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> <![CDATA[Top 10 Brainy Babes]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:227243 Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:00:05 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794133 How To Jump on the Bandwagon of a Sports Team Tue, 10 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794133 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Wear as much team apparel as possible. How is anyone supposed to know what team you like if you do not have their logo emblazoned on your chest at all times? When it comes to jerseys, choose someone who will be on the team for a very long time, you don't want some weird midseason five-team trade leaving you with the jersey of a guy who was just traded to your team's archrival. Don't know who your team's archrival is? Don't worry! Wearing all of your official team apparel will buy you some time to learn your team's history.
Bonus Tip: Look for team apparel at your local thrift store. Wearing an old shirt or jersey will make it look like you've been a fan for a while.

Wear hats. Hats are so important to jumping on the bandwagon that they deserve their own category. There are many different types and styles of hats, you've got the fitted hat, stretch fit hat, snap back hat, game hat, sideline hat, spring training hat, and throwback hat, just to name a few. You're going to want to buy them all. If you want to be on the bandwagon, hats are no longer just for bad hair days.
Bonus Tip: Wear your hat backwards so all of the losers left in the dust will be aware of the team you are now currently supporting.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2000643"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/5/e/collegehumor.09fddbd50c9adcc0c233b19e5d556975.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-11-10 12:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2000643">Alex Watt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:938"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 14 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> <![CDATA[This is why the public shouldn't have access to anything.]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:226644 Tue, 03 Nov 2009 08:00:01 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793353 Top 5 Costumes You'll See at Every Halloween Party Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793353 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> It's Halloween again, which means it's time to try and come up with some ideas for an original costume that will entertain your friends, seduce your crushes and devastate your rivals. But please, during your quest for the perfect outfit, stay away from these five costumes. Chances are, they'll be all over the place.


5. Max from "Where the Wild Things Are"


inside all of us... is beer.

What better way to pay homage to Maurice Sendak's timeless work than by dressing up like the main character, getting drunk and throwing up all over yourself? With the recently-released "Wild Things" movie enjoying huge popularity, there are sure to be more than a few homemade Max/wolf costumes this year. It's easy, it's comfortable and it lets the wearer feel edgy and hip without the fear of actually alienating anyone.

Better Suggestion: Build a 12-foot animatronic "Wild Thing" puppet and pay James Gandolfini to record every possible response you would say at a party. Wear the puppet and communicate using only the pre-taped lines.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:67612"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/e/c/collegehumor.55b6dd1efe21cf9490c6cecc7a6c2781.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-29 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:67612">Greg</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:428"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 24 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> <![CDATA[If only the guy from "Saw" were a woman. Then I'd bet the things on the list could be a lot crueler]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:226309 Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:00:07 -0400 <![CDATA[Funniest Rollercoaster Photos]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:226226 Wed, 28 Oct 2009 08:00:03 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793524 Five Bosses You'll Have After College Mon, 26 Oct 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793524 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> 1. The "Why Isn't This Working?" Boss

At first, you may mistake this guy for an unusually thick intern. But once he parks himself behind his executive credenza and starts bawling about his email client, your ego will be piledrived by the horrible truth: this flailing man-child is your boss.

Odds are you'll never get to your real job, since you'll spend every moment helping this special-needs supervisor send "eMemos" through his "BlogBerry." Why has someone who can't understand how a mouse works been given control over other human beings? Maybe it's fate, or maybe it's because your entire life is the subject of Japan's #1 Hidden Camera Prank Show: "Happy Go Go Dream-Crushing: American Youth Has Maximum Aneurysm With Peanut Sauce."

You May Already Know Him: In college, he was the guy outside your window at 4AM screaming "Why isn't the food court open?" and sobbing while he tugged on the door handle.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1747720"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/b/collegehumor.688014cc4e3f51335e8cf30b65685d54.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-26 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1747720">Owen Parsons</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 156 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> <![CDATA[5 Reasons Star Wars Sequels Would Be Worse Than Prequels]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:225843 Fri, 23 Oct 2009 08:00:09 -0400 <![CDATA[They're slightly less attractive than Miss October and a little bit better at baseball]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:225838 Fri, 23 Oct 2009 08:00:03 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792960 5 Star Wars Questions Which Keep Me Up at Night Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792960 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> I love Stars Wars, but I spend way too much time thinking about it. Literally, every night before I fall asleep I ponder life-changing questions about Star Wars like:

It's just mean to make him stand up there without giving him a medal.

1.  Why does Chewbacca not get a medal?

At the end of the movie Luke and Han are rewarded for their efforts with medals. However, Chewbacca does not receive a medal. Did I miss something? Chewbacca risked his life to save Luke and help destroy the Death Star. For all we know, it was Chewbacca who actually fired the shot that hit the right spot on that one other Tie fighter that bumped into Darth Vader's Tie fighter just in the right way to send him spinning into space away from the Death Star thus leaving the plot open to sequels. I for one, thank you Chewbacca. I suspect that Chewbacca did not get a medal based on race, which is total bullshit. They live in a world where Jar Jar Binks can become a galactic senator, but they won't give Chewy a medal. I'd hate to see what racist anti-Wookie laws are enacted once the Rebellion has gained power.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1931879"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/e/collegehumor.60da4e1813d3cd3c3c8485fe3e43ce37.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-21 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1931879">Casey Campbell</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:386"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 59 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790308 The Seven Types of Concertgoers Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790308 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> The Excessively Hardcore Fan
This person has been a fan of the band since before everybody else in the world had ever heard of them, including any and all members of the band's immediate families. He still hasn't fully forgiven his former heroes for writing songs that people besides him enjoy but attempts to maintain his aura of superiority by memorizing every detail about the band's backstory, as well as the liner notes to all of their albums, songs, and Volkswagen commercials. He is typically found sitting quietly in the front row, angry at the more casual concertgoers for being too busy singing along, dancing or otherwise enjoying themselves to really appreciate the music. His new favorite band after this concert will be the "avant garde" opening act that nobody else liked.

The Guy who Just likes to Smoke Pot
This person knows next to nothing about the band performing, but he does know that smoking pot with other people at a concert is a lot less pathetic than smoking it alone in your parents' basement and watching a Bewitched marathon. Throughout the night, he will largely ignore anything the band is doing onstage and instead devote all of his energy to figuring out if people want to smoke now or wait until the headliner starts performing. Typically found at outdoor concerts on the open lawn area, after smoking, he will either spend the rest of the concert lying down in a state of drugged bliss or continually asking if anyone wants to skip out early and go hit up the nearest Denny's.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1596776"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/3/collegehumor.d37a7ef9cdc4df6326f3e0333c14e777.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-20 15:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1596776">Eddie Small</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:300"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 25 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792234 Five Weirdest 90's Sitcom Sidekicks Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792234 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

1. Sam Anders, "Clarissa Explains it All"

In case you haven't bought the complete box series to watch regularly, Sam Anders was Clarissa's best friend and neighbor. The quintessential laid back surfer/skater dude, Sam was the perfect balance to Clarissa's dramatic and saracastic personality. So what's so weird about this kid? Sam wasn't the overcomfortable friend who comes into your house through the garage. He wasn't even the Urkle-esque neighbor who just pops open the back door to say hello. This audacious bastard routinely CLIMBED into a 15 year old girl's bedroom through a ladder he strategically kept against up to her window. Where the hell were the parents on that one? Did they not foresee any issues with other strange men climbing through that window? And most importantly, why did this show win an Emmy?
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1745270"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/5/collegehumor.d6d633329d67c3bcecc4e765cb8b517f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-19 15:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1745270">Marina Cockenberg</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 50 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> <![CDATA[5 Authors More Badass Than The Badasses They Created]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:225433 Sat, 17 Oct 2009 08:00:05 -0400 <![CDATA[7 Sex Tips From Cosmo That Will Put You In The Hospital]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:225159 Wed, 14 Oct 2009 08:00:05 -0400 <![CDATA[Rum and Jenga sounds like the greatest time ever]]> http://www.collegehumor.com/hotlink:224942 Sat, 10 Oct 2009 08:00:01 -0400