See, you have this romantic notion of what's going to happen down here because movies tell you that love at first sight is possible, maybe even probable. And until now, the closest you've gotten to being in love is a hand job in your prom limo....
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93 likes /
36
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8 months ago 
Please let me watch your kids. I need the work. I have no more money. My...my wife left me. She took everything. T.V., stereo, Nordic track, all the food... I've got nothing. I am begging you. Please let me watch your kids.Oh God... I have nothing...
KEEP READING 36 likes /
103
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8 months ago 
Dude, this is the lamest computer lab in the history of computer labs. I can't believe I'm actually in the same room as these losers. I mean, check out Mr. "Grade-A douche" to the right to me. Is this guy serious? I bet if I poured steaming...
KEEP READING 32 likes /
34
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1 year ago 
Wow, I am just in a whole world of hurt right now on the homestead.Yes, I definitely faked my own death to score a big promotion- insensitive at worst, I would say. I certainly didn't hear any complaining when the new range and KitchenAid...
KEEP READING 15 likes /
15
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1 year ago 
You have 'til the count of three to come down from that coffee table, mister. What happens at three is a mystery to you. I could spank you, I suppose. Three swift smacks to the bottom, you run crying to your room, and ten minutes later you've...
KEEP READING 16 likes /
12
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1 year ago 
Oh. Hello there, sonny. Would you mind quickly assisting me with a glaring issue of mine? Much obliged. You would never believe how eager I currently am to have run into an individual such as yourself: an individual who may just happen to be able...
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73
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1 year ago 
Gather 'round, kiddos! We've got a choice for afternoon activity. Softball with Pete or Arts and Crafts with Bianca. If you want softball, raise your hand. Hands down. Arts and Crafts, raise your hand. Anyone? Well, okay, don't cheer yet. That was...
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30
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1 year ago 
DUUDES! MY DUDES! How the hell are you guys, how was your break? Awesome, yeah, me too, I had a totally awesome blow-out spring break. Just decided to go for broke, let loose, ya feel me? What? Mexico? Nah, bro, everyone goes there....
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47
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2 years ago 
Jim? Jim! James Winningham get in here right now! Oh I'll tell you what the big deal is young man. Sit down. Earlier today, your mother was cleaning in your room and she found...well, just show him, Emily. Yep. You know what that is? Of course you...
KEEP READING 19 likes /
8
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2 years ago 
Hello Mom and Dad,It's me, your "Poor Little Rich Boy." Well, I'm not so little any more. But I am still rich. I'm 30 years old sitting on a 10-figure trust fund just itching to be spent. And guess what: I do what I want, when I want. Just like I...
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96 Comments
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2 years ago 
What do you mean you won't let me in? Are you being serious? Is this a joke? Where's the hidden camera? Of course I'm 21, why else would I try to get into this bar showing my real I.D.?Well no, I don't think YOU understand. 9 months until I'm 21...
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133
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2 years ago
I’m glad you were able to make it to my office hours. It’s been a few weeks since classes started, and I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I’m just not impressed by your knowledge base. I expect you to know everything in this...
KEEP READING 34 likes /
61
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2 years ago 
OK, let’s see here, Mr. Billings, right? Great. Well, I took a look over your application and I have to say it looks fantastic. As you know, we have pretty strict hiring standards here at Brist County Bank and Trust and I’m happy to...
KEEP READING 51 likes /
65
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2 years ago 
Hey kids, wake up. We need to have a talk. Huh? I don’t know, about 2 AM, I think. Listen, I have to tell you all something. It's about your mother and I. But before I do, I want you to know that no matter what happens, we’re going to...
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32
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2 years ago 
“Mandy, these two months at camp felt like a fantasy – our instant bond, the passion we felt for each other… your warm skin against mine for the first time, here on this dock by the lake. To be here with you, the sun setting in...
KEEP READING 29 likes /
57
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2 years ago 
Yea that’s right, its gym time baby. You know how I know its gym time? Cause I can feel the fucking pump! I can feel my veins expanding with every scoop of Nitro Shock Shotgun Blast. I can feel my body’s muscles infusing with all 3 lbs...
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67
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2 years ago 
You might as well quit right now buddy, cause quess what? I got the illustrious gold star, yeah that's right, call your mom and tell her that you are coming home early cause I am taking your ass out of commission for the rest of the night. But I...
KEEP READING 46 likes /
38
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2 years ago
Hello? How do you do. I don't mean to cause a great deal of trouble here but it has now been over one hour since I ordered my sausage, pepperoni, and onion pizza from your establishment. It is currently thirty minutes past the estimated delivery...
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57
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2 years ago 
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