Guns N Roses are finally releasing Chinese Democracy this sunday, probably.
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Kanye West arrested again
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Cops have tough time finding sober driver for boy
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How much is $2,000,000 in Alaskan dollars anyway?
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An English kid changes his name to the coolest name ever.
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They have giant, bird-eating spiders. No thanks.
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Marsha Brady talks about her memoir
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Ukranian boxer Vitali Klitschko has an interesting cure for swelling.
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Seems like a good deal, but it doesn't come with any Bjork.
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Halloween came early for crazy alcoholics this yeay.
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USA! USA! USA!
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The Daily Show’s Moment of Zen
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I couldn't locate your country on a map, but you sure make the best news headlines
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Police check out reports of a suspicious thing in the sky.
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Some schools are arguing in favor of lowering the drinking age. Pretty interesting.
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A guy wants porn but doesn't want to pay for it. Apparently, he's never heard of the Internet.
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Olive Garden doesn't want to be associated with Playboy.
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Every day Michael Phelps eats enough food to feed all the orphans in the world and some real people.
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A collection of the best C-SPAN prank calls.
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A list songs announced for Rock Band 2 so far.
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If you like celebrity trash getting wasted and exposing themselves, you only need to know one name: Lindsay Lohan. But also DerekHail.com because that's where pics of our favorite trainwrecks end up.
All the news that fit to print, as long as it's about celebrities. Tons of pics and vids of people more attractive than you or I.
Onion Sports has quickly become the nation's number-one site for hard-hitting sports news, stats, and information that isn't true. If you hadn't figured this out yet, what The Onion is to news, Onion Sports is to sports.