"News" Hotlinks
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Hotlink:Anyone looking for a roommate?
Word on the street that crazy Gary Busey might be looking for a place to live.
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Hotlink:It's a sad day in Tanzania
A witchdoctor-prescribed lucky charm to help find precious stones has been outlawed.
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Hotlink:Hey, I can get drunk and yell. I want to be on the news, too
A drunk college kid covers the St. Patrick's Day parade for Fox News.
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Hotlink:World's biggest pimp ditches two wives in 3 minutes
Not only is it bad ass to have two wives, it's hyper-bad ass to divorce them both in less time than it takes to brush your teeth.
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Hotlink:Wait for it...
A story about fish takes a turn for the better when fish start launching themselves out of the the water at the reporter.
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Hotlink:37? Has Obama never bowled before?
Barack Obama embarrassed the nation when he proved that one of the top democratic candidates is an atrocious bowler.
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Hotlink:High school kids 0, cops 0. We'll call this one a stalemate
I'd like to say the kids pulled a fast one on the police, but every single person there had to sit through a breathalyzer test. It sounds like a boring way to spend a night.
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Hotlink:Breaking News: Paris Hilton fell on her big, dumb face
That's right, get the full story and pictures of Paris Hilton being on thr ground, and then starting to get up again
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Hotlink:There must not be a whole lot going on in New Zealand these days...
A man claims to have been raped by a wombat and, as a result, is speaking fluent Australian.
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Hotlink:And you thought you hated Emo kids...
Mexicans hate emo kids so much they're forming mobs and chasing them down. Insane.
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Hotlink:Wait...I thought this was Chuck E. Cheese, not White Castle...
Crazy man runs around Chuck E. Cheese spitting and telling people he has hepatitis.
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Hotlink:"It was stolen? Oh...yeah, we totally knew that."
Cops chase donut truck in a high speed pursuit. Later, they are shocked to find out the truck was stolen.
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Hotlink:The worst headline that's ever been printed
World's Worst Scientists discover a link between weed, BJs and cancer.
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Hotlink:Ugh, every time I go to this hospital they try to give me a new anus
A woman is suing a hospital over a botched surgery, in which she was given a new anus instead of a leg operation.
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Hotlink:Just imagine she's talking about poop instead of rats and it gets funnier
A woman in England discusses being bitten by a rat while sitting on the toilet.
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Hotlink:This just in: Crucifixion is bad for you
Apparently, some Filipinos need to be warned that getting crucified is dangerous
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Hotlink:Tulane students report on a crippling weed shortage
The poor underclassmen of Tulane University are suffering a weed shortage, the likes of which haven't been seen since the late 1980's.
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Hotlink:Thanks for saving everyone's life but...BUSTED!
A 15 year old girl gets Saturday detention for skipping class. Oh, and they only found out she was skipping class after she saved a bus full of kids.
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Hotlink:He was halfway to joining the mile high club.
A woman sues American Airlines over a masturbating passenger.
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Hotlink:Little Person Dressed as Gnome Terrorizes Argentina Town
If only we lived in the third world we too could have funny news stories like this.
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