Facebook uses the word "news" pretty liberally.

"My cottage is on the same lake as Joe Francis's. Their boat ran out of gas and we went by and they waved us down. They asked if we wanted money for a ride to shore. My buddy just asked if she would flash us. ANd she fucking did!"

You heard Spider-Man, let her go.

Congratulations Paris Hilton! It takes a special kind of socialite to never do anything, but still be hated across cultures.

He picked her up with a, "Hey Momma, wanna have a burger with a real man?"

He's the Paris Hilton sex video. Sometimes, it's the thought that counts.

"Hey gorgeous, it's Nicole Richie. Well the secret it out...Paris Hilton must die. I mean, that's just so hot. And, well, she's just so....not. I had to pop a cap in that skinny hoe. Well, used to be skinny...now I'm the skinny one...just remember that. No more nights in Paris! Do you love it? Well stay sexy, muah!" Okaaaaay.

Is Paris Hilton unaware that people are taking pictures of her around the clock?

Paris Hilton screwing next to a pool.

"Whoooo, Nikki is flat!"

"Paris Hilton smoking the reefer!?!?! Has anyone gotten her to do the shocker yet??" Two great questions.

Damn, this newspaper is better at captions than I am.

Lindsay Lohan stands around make-upless, while Paris trys text messaging Snoop for more laundry hints.

Looking like an idiot-whore is HOT in 2005.

If it makes you feel any better, even you were a better looking teenager than Paris Hilton.

Paris and Rick Solomon for halloween...Represent EU!

Paris Hilton for the Halloween Contest! (Smaller file this time... sorry)

Paris Hilton and Snoop Dog at ERAU.

Its paris hilton, a butt pirate and a cop......Never thought you'd see that huh.

Ah, to be Paris Hilton...