No I'm not going to use your straw, you already put it in your mouth. That's disgusting.

I don't have to pee, you carry him to his bed.

We're out of couches, does anybody sleep particularly still?

A true friend - "My friend got some weird virus that made his stomach swell up to the size of a basketball. During his morphine induced coma I realized I needed a new facebook picture."

The greatest battle lies within.

At least he wasn't driving.

CSI was not required to crack this case.

Don't worry, there's a hole in the back of his pants.

Ummmm you have some stomach in your hair.

Well, as long as she's not passed out in the deep end.

Do you have any idea how unsafe that is? Try to pass it with your belly don't he peak of the roof, so your balanced and don't slip off.

I passed out on East Fourth street last night.

How do I know the strange man didn't post this right before passing out?

"The only passed out guy in public in Utah."

You got the picture, now get out. I can't go when other people are looking at me.

Looks like Professor Quirrell at the end of the first Harry Potter.

When I die, that's how I want to be buried.

"Nobody stopped to check if he was alive or anything, so I thought it would be appropriate to take his picture."

Remember to take a break between drinks, like this girl is doing.

Has anyone seen my dignity?