It's a rule, regardless of the situation.

Suspect is 18-year-old white male virgin.

Text messages have a purpose?

Hmmmm let me see it was green, some red hairs, pretty sticky icky....

Maybe spreading stories like this is how they're attracting new rushes.

The deer community is up in arms that he isn't being charged with rape.

"A friend of ours got really, really, drunk at our house so we told him he needed to go home. We offered to drive him but said he'd walk home by himself. Bad choice."

Apparently at Drake all the weirdos get up before noon.

"Good concept for a prank, but keep in mind, at the end of it all, you still have to handle your own feces."

Philbert: Great, now what are we supposed to do.
Walter: You guys want to play Warcraft?
Everyone: Okay!

Honey, just go. The ninja in the diaper says it's okay.

I don't want to ruin the ending, but "The origins of the fecal matter remained a mystery."

Apparently punching someone in the face isn't a crime?

One of the first beer pong injuries I've seen.

It will be a while at Hofstra before anyone actually tries to write a thesis on feet.

The moral of the story is if you are going to dress up a 9-year-old boy like a girl and feed him rum, try to drive the speed limit.

The one good thing about newspapers - the police blotter.

There's a dress code at gang bangs?

If you know you have herpes, you probably shouldn't be blowing yourself.

If you pack those things with ice they hurt!