A child genius hatches a plan to make himself the only kid whose letter gets to Santa.

Santa hates the summer because the heat melts elves.

The reindeer must be resting.

Santa has gone crazy and rolled around in elf blood.

If you've been really good this year, maybe - MAYBE - you can have another Death Star.

Santa is leading his own sleigh tonight.

Rover, won't you light my sleigh tonight?

Try explaining the, "Santa's not coming" sign to your kids.

Rudolph with your nose so bright, I need you to start game 1.

What's so scary about a large bearded man who breaks into your house to eat cookies?

Santa Claus probably gets so much pussy.

Hope you're not getting in the sleigh after this.

You're never too big for Mall Santa.

Here comes Santa Claus here comes Santa Claus.

"That's not a stocking hes packing."

"I made the globe much like a mylar ballon is constructed - with two flat discs glued at the edges. The entry point in the bottom is a 'tube' made of thinner clear vinyl. The tube seals around my waist and holes in the tube keep the globe inflated. The fans inflate the tube and holes allow it to leak and keep the globe filled."

Don't worry, Blitzen's driving.

Santa doesn't look so good. No worry, he still has 9 months to get everything together.

Go Santa! Go Santa!

Then hoe come he didn't smoke any of the stuff I left out for him?