One day after going to the gym I went to my friend's house and a girl suggested to me via text that she give me a ride home. I never had time to shower. Before she dropped me off, we were making out in her car and she started licking my neck. When she came back up to my mouth, all I could taste was the salt from my sweat. She hasn't talked to me since.
-Stuart, UT

My girlfriend and I were watching a college basketball game a few weeks ago. The announcer says "there are 2 minutes left in the first half." My girlfriend turns to me and asks "How many halves are there in a college basketball game?" She is no longer my girlfriend.
-James, PA

The summer before sophomore year of high school I had a boyfriend who I hadn't really done anything with. When it came time for us to kiss, he leaned in and literally sucked the skin around my mouth and stuck his tongue down my throat for minutes on end. Again and again. I went home at 7:30 because I "don't want to wake my parents up".
-Luisa

This week on Springer

The modern woman isn't afraid of a challenge and nothing sparks that competitive flame within us all like pitting two friends against each other. Here's the thing fellas, behind every obnoxious BFF LYLAS 4 EVA friendship is the insatiable desire to claw each others' eyes out. Why else would chicks dig pillow fights and mud wrestling so much? Start talking up the object of your desire (henceforth known as "Prey") and then flip the switch and go for her friend. I know what you're thinking, "Won't they both see through my thinly veiled attempt to double my odds?" The answer, of course, is no. We're not that smart.

2. Be Yourself

Now that you've got the attention of her and her friend, feel free to just let your guard down and be... hahaha just kidding.

I go to a Christian College. I met a girl from the local State school and invited her over to watch a movie. I told her to pick the movie so she rented "The strangers" because it was close to Halloween. She got mad when she got to my dorm and realized that we had to watch the movie in our dorm lobby because our dorm rules only allow girls in our rooms from 6-9 P.M. once every 3 weeks. It got worse because I told her rated R movies are banned on campus. About 25 minutes into the movie the dorm manager noticed we were watching an R-rated movie, turned it off, and kicked the girl out. It's safe to say that any chance with her is gone, she hasn't answered any of my calls and I am transferring ASAP.
-Dustin, Lincoln Christian College

When I was in 8th grade, I started getting these weird phone calls and messages from this girl at a rival high school. I thought it was weird, but decided to roll with it because I hadn't exactly been the luckiest stud on the block. She started leaving really graphic messages about what she wanted to do to me, so I decided to call her back. It was at this point she told me it was all an elaborate prank that her and her best friend had come up with after drinking 2 Mike's Hard Lemonade's a piece. Mike's. Hard. Lemonade.
-Alex

My girlfriend hated Transformers 2 because there was "too much" robot fighting.
-Anonymous

My GF of six years dumped me the week of finals, seven days before I graduated college. She said she, "wanted time to be single and trust her own decision making." Six months later, she was engaged, pregnant and enlisted in the army.
-Rich

This August while sleeping on an air mattress on vacation, my girlfriend pissed herself, and because I'm heavier than her, it all came down and pooled around me. I woke up shivering, soaked in my girlfriend's piss.
-Drew, Wayne State

I once bought my (ex)girlfriend flowers for no reason. Immediately after I gave them to her my roommate came home and we started talking about what he was doing for his girlfriend for thier anniversary. With the flowers still in her hand she turned to me and said "Why don't you ever do things like that for me?"
-Will

I was a 19 year old college freshman dating another 19 year old college freshman. We stopped in at a Dunkin' Donuts that he frequented. Upon walking up to the counter, the cashier said, "Oh hi, Chris! Is this your mom?"
-Hillari

My significant other of a year and a half cried hysterically for an hour and swore to never talk to me again because I jokingly said I was more attractive then her.
-Nick

My ex-girlfriend's favorite band was Nickelback...
-Dan, UTK.

I went with my (now ex) girlfriend to a Coinstar machine. It's one of those things where you dump in coins and it gives you a check for the amount so you don't have to count them out and roll them. On the side of the machine it says that the fee is 9 cents for every dollar of coins you put in. I commented how that was a rip off. She replied word for word. "Yeah. 9 cents for every dollar, that's like twenty percent!" She's trying to get into grad school....
-Paul, BSU

My Girlfriend was watching Saturday Night Live online and stopped it to ask me "When does SNL come out on T.V?"
-Anonymous