"I for one welcome our seagull overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their giant nests."
/
46
/
1 month ago 
/
46
/
3 months ago 
"Kids carry a lot of money these days. So after you've performed, you might consider robbing them."
/
125
/
11 months ago 
"Well, animals are not like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life, or have been mistreated. But, like people, some of them are just jerks."
/
30
/
1 year ago 
"It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies! Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!"
/
64
/
1 year ago 
You can actually pinpoint the exact moment when his heart rips in half, adorable!
/
62
/
1 year ago 
/
42
/
1 year ago 
/
41
/
1 year ago 
/
55
/
1 year ago 
/
39
/
1 year ago 
If THIS is the stuff they cut from "Commando," what they leave in must be PURE GOLD.
/
37
/
2 years ago 
In Korea, professional gamers are like rock stars, musicians can't get laid, and hamburgers eat people!
/
79
/
2 years ago 
/
42
/
2 years ago 
"Why won't the female pandas mate with Ling Ling?! The species survival depends on it!"
/
31
/
2 years ago 
/
114
/
2 years ago 
Tell me where in the rulebook it says you can't make the players wear binoculars? Oh, right -- rule number one.
/
76
/
2 years ago 
/
84
/
2 years ago 
Sonic is really going to be in the next Smash Brothers, and he's got so much extreme attitude it puts Poochy to shame.
/
203
/
2 years ago 
/
86
/
2 years ago 
/
44
/
2 years ago 
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