Pssst....is the coast clear?

"He didn't want to hold the sign, but 'I'm buzzed, just be a good sport' seemed to work."

Put your junk in that box.

They busted me when I couldn't explain why I had 5 iPods.

A superspy can of beer goes undercover.

That's why the guy I sat next to had four half-full Pepsis!

"How to get a 5th into a football game."

Despite the RA's report, I also believe you and your roommates when you told me about your glass slide whistle covered in Phish stickers.

"My roommate and I were at a party and all these frat-tastic fucks were playing beer pong. Annoyed by polo shirts and popped collars, my roommate grabbed a cup. After pissing into the cup outside, he switched the water/rinse cup with the pee cup. Here is a shot of these guys rinsing their balls in my roommates urine as they continue the game of beer pong. Enjoy."

"This costume may not be the most elaborate, but since it looks exactly like our university's public saftey, we went around and busted all the freshman drinking in their dorms. We told them that we wouldn't write them up but we would have to take the alcohol. Needless to say we got a lot of alcohol and the best part was the freshman paid for it." I'm not sure that's in the spirit of Halloween, it's just super-dicky.

Hiding a Penthouse in a Sports Illustrated is only slightly more deceptive than putting a forty in a brown paper bag.

If shaving your leg just so you can write the answers on it is cheating then yes, I'm a cheater.

Ingenuity is so much more important than memorizing the periodic table.

Everyone thought I was disgusting, but in fact I was just hiding a handle of Captain.

"Jimmy did it, Tim got the blame."