The eighth season of American Idol kicked off last night, and I was so excited that I watched it. The first round of auditions took place in scorching Phoenix, where the talent and landscape were comparably barren. Randy, still sporting a modest...
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10 months ago 
[I skipped town for a little while on the ol' AI column because I'm generally pretty busy on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, and I just couldn't force myself to sit through 6 or 8 or however many hours of goofy audition bullshit. Plus those things...
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8 Comments
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2 years ago
Length of episode: 2 hoursWhat happened: a lot of stuffWho showed up: the Top 12, the judges, Ryan Seacrest, Tony Bennett, Joe Perry, Taylor Hicks, Kelly Clarkston, Carrie Underwood, Smokey Robinson, Gladys Knight, some other black people who...
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10 Comments
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2 years ago
We're in the ginormous Kodak Theater, watching old footage of Jordin and Blake from the Seattle auditions and onward with the approximately 450,000,000 people who fill the venue tonight. I am reminded, during this montage down Memory Lane, just...
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6 Comments
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2 years ago
So it's 9:06 EST, during the first commercial break of this, what is perhaps the most important Idol elimination since the invention of TV, eliminations, and American Idol. Normally I wouldn't watch the show until much later, when I can...
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7 Comments
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2 years ago
Let's just get right to it. I'm sick of this bullshit.1. Jordin - Wishing on a StarI'm not in love with Jordin's hair tonight, but Simon chose this song (and, I assume, her wardrobe), and she does a good job with it, I guess. I don't know it at...
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6 Comments
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2 years ago
My prayers were literally answered tonight, as Phil and Chris went home, leaving a Final Four that is 75% black and 75% female. Affirmative Action? Probably. The best Final Four ever? Definitely. Was it me, or at the beginning of the show tonight,...
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8 Comments
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3 years ago
I know what you're thinking: Top 6 again?! Boooo! I wanted to see the Top 5! I know, friend. Me too. But last week they decided not to send anyone home, so there are still 6 people here, and I still have to look at Phil's ugly mug. Unfortunately...
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19 Comments
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3 years ago
You know that scene in The Princess Bride when Buttercup is dreaming that she's married to Humperdink, and she's dressed all pretty and walking out of the castle into the crowd, and everyone is cheering except for that one old hag who's going, "...
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10 Comments
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3 years ago
This week is apparently Footage of Simon and Ryan Choosing Which Foreign Baby to Adopt to Raise as Their Own Week. Really it's some stupid special Idol Gives Back bullshit, which I am clearly really happy about. I don't care about donating money,...
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14 Comments
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3 years ago
I've spent a long time thinking about what I would say when this day finally came. Weeks ago, I would have been righteous and jeering, screaming, "TAKE THAT, YOU CREEPILY-GRINNING LITTLE BOBBLE HEAD!" At first, weeks and weeks ago, when there were...
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15 Comments
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3 years ago
The lucky se7en get down with their bad selves this week in a country tribute hosted by Martina McBride. Obviously hardly anyone likes country, especially Simon, so this should be fun.1. Phil - "Where the Blacktop Ends"Phil claims to like country,...
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20 Comments
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3 years ago
AW HELL YES BITCHES! MY DAY HAS COME!Seriously, thank God for this. It's what's best for everyone. The Morning After on Vimeo
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11 Comments
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3 years ago
You guys, tonight was the saddest night of my life. I had a video all ready for what I was certain would be Haley's inevitable dismissal, and then, of course, GINA had to go and fuck it all up. Thanks a lot, America! Now I have to wait one, maybe...
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10 Comments
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3 years ago
Tony Bennett arrives to act as musical and spiritual guru for the nine Idolers who are left, which promises for a boring show, if nothing else. Mr. Bennett, winner of 15 Grammy Awards and Las Vegas's favorite octogenarian, claims that the music he...
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8 Comments
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3 years ago
I made a photo montage to commemorate our loss of Chris Sligh. I'm a bad singer, so I guess you'll just have to deal with that. The Morning After on VimeoEditor's Note: How strange is it to hear Katie Marino's voice? Discuss.-Street!split
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99 Comments
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3 years ago
I'm going to admit something to you, America. I used to be a huge fan of Tragic Kingdom. Back in 5th grade, as far as I was concerned, No Doubt could do No Wrong. Sometimes I look back on my 10-year-old, body-glitter-as-eye-make-up-wearing self...
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6 Comments
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3 years ago
Well, America, I'm sad to report that the British Invasion is over, and just as Peter Noone and Lulu must sail back over the pond to their flats and lifts and loos, so must Stephanie Edwards make the long journey back to wherever it is that she's...
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7 Comments
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3 years ago
Light two lanterns, America, because the British are coming! Yes, that's right, this week is BRITISH INVASION Week, and you have no idea how badly I wish I could make those letters be gigantic and flash red and blue. I happen to really like '60s...
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9 Comments
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3 years ago
It's time to meet your Top 12, nation! Instead of writing about this episode, I've taken the liberty (because we're in America, where freedom rings) of graphically representing the results using my extra-good drunken Paint skillz. See if you can...
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5 Comments
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3 years ago 
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