"The Onion" Stuff
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Hotlink:Everyone's vote counts, even victims of a mall shooting
The Onion: Gunman Kills 15 Potential Voters In Crucial Swing State
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Hotlink:We could all learn a thing or two from the beaver-hunting skills of John Jacob Astor
The Onion Historical Archives: John Jacob Astor Out Looking for Beaver
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Hotlink:Hard to tell if he's an alien, or a middle-aged loser
The Onion: "People Of Earth, I Lack Basic Social Skills"
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Hotlink:Does this sound like 90% of the kids you grew up with?
The Onion: Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence
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Hotlink:Yeah, the Mets could make the playoffs, if they fused together into a 400 ft tall, 20,000 lb robot
The Onion: Struggling Mets Combine To Form Carlos Voltron
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Hotlink:The wise man's path to power and money - marry a beer heiress
The Onion: McCain’s Economic Plan For Nation: 'Everyone Marry A Beer Heiress'
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Hotlink:This is exactly why Obama is against mass e-mails
The Onion: Obama Deletes Another Unread MoveOn.org E-Mail
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Hotlink:Inspirational advice from a man still recovering from yesterday's masturbation marathon
The Onion: 'Carpe Diem,' Says Man Who Spent Previous Day Masturbating In Darkened Room
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Hotlink:If Tom Brady goes, his massive following of hot lady-fans goes with him
The Onion: Female Fans Out For Season With Tom Brady's Knee Injury
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Hotlink:The Jacksonville Jaguars are WAY over-thinking things
The Onion: Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life
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Hotlink:"It's like he disappeared as soon as we really got to know him"
The Onion: Mystery Freshman Dominates Ice Breakers, Disappears Into Night
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Hotlink:Two guys who can't agree on how to describe the party they're at
The Onion: Party! vs Whoo! Party!
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Hotlink:If this doesn't make you want to call your grandmother, you have no heart
The Onion: Hummingbird Back At Feeder Again, Grandmother Reports
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Hotlink:It wasn't easy getting Michael Phelps from Beijing back to his tank at SeaWorld
The Onion: Michael Phelps Returns To His Tank At Sea World
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Hotlink:Obama may lose if he doesn't court the Asians-Who-Live-Above-Frozen-Yogurt-Stores demographic
The Onion: Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election
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Hotlink:Could be the new Peter Pan guy
The Onion: Green-Clad Olympic Archer Steals Gold Medals From Rich, Gives Them To Poor
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Hotlink:You've got to get your girlfriend to read this study
The Onion: 'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man
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Hotlink:2008 Summer Olympics: the perfect background noise for your living room.
The Onion: Nation To Leave Olympics On In Background
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Hotlink:Mike Mussina is having trouble pitching ideas to McSweeney's
The Onion: McSweeney's Rejects Mike Mussina's Seventh Consecutive Submission
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Hotlink:You can finally buy all the crap you need for your dorm in one place.
The Onion: New Linens-N-Shit Opens
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