'The Poetry Corner' Articles
27 total- Monday, Jul 30 2007
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Article:Three Short Poems
Realization: A LimerickOne day in McDonald’s I satWhen I got really mad that I’m fatTo stop my self-loathingI bought some new clothingTwo sizes two big, and that’s thatBeer: A HaikuI was a drinkerThen I stopped for health...
KEEP READING - Monday, Jun 18 2007
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Article:This Poem's So Indie
I must be frank, to say the least;Your music taste's quite blandWhich is why I must inquireIf you're familiar with the bandYou mean to claim you have not heardThis grand musical treasure?My poor dear sir, you've been deprivedOf certain aural...
KEEP READING - Monday, Jun 11 2007
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Article:Because I Watch The View Sometimes
Because I watch "The View" sometimesAnd "Sex in the City" That doesn’t mean you jerks can doubtMy sexuality. I wear a scarf, paint my toenailsBut so do lots of guysLike Dave Navarro, the dude with The dark and piercing...
KEEP READINGBy Chris Richman
7 likes
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29
- Tuesday, May 29 2007
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Article:A Plural Platypus Problem
We, members of the platypus species, haveMade an observationIt is just a small matter which concernsThe whole platypus populationFor the English language has created a conundrumOn forms of many or oneWe don't know to which source to turnWhat ever,...
KEEP READING - Monday, May 21 2007
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Article:If I Was, I Would: A Hypothetical Poem
If I was gay, I would have sex with Hugh Jackman.If I was a woman, I would have sex with Hugh Jackman.If I was magic, I would turn myself into Patrick Stewart, so I can star opposite Hugh Jackman in the X-men movies.If I was Wayne Gretzky, I...
KEEP READINGBy Aaron Peever 24 likes
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33
- Monday, May 14 2007
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Article:
A Collection of Short Poems
MyPod I got into the subway this morningI saw a manHis lips were...movingMoving like mineHe was singingthe exactsamesongthat I was listening to.In all the world...two iPodswith the exact same song onat the exact same moment.OK,that didn't really...
KEEP READING - Monday, May 7 2007
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Article:
The Cafeteria
O Casserole, Casserole! What food art thou, Casserole? Your description reads, “Sunday Surprise” ‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself though, a true surprise?What’s a surprise? It is nor meat, nor grain,Nor...
KEEP READINGBy Chris Richman 5 likes
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19
- Monday, Apr 30 2007
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Article:
Ode to Guidos
There's some things in life that I can't understandLike people who mumble, or meat that is cannedBut one thing I think that is way out of handAre people called "guidos" who live in this land.One night I had tea, and a chocolate biscottiWalked by...
KEEP READING - Monday, Apr 23 2007
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Article:My Unfortunate Erection
My turn's fast approaching, my speech it grows nearBut my heart is filled with apprehension and fear.Though I am not unready, I did enough to prepareI just didn’t plan on having a boner to share.The teacher looks my way and calls me to speak,...
KEEP READING - Monday, Apr 16 2007
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Article:
Weird Guy
The music is blaring, the bass shakes my feetThe kids all get down to the block-rockin’ beatA seat at the bar I will take all aloneI act like I’m waiting, keep checking my phoneI sip my Bacardi and check out the sceneCute girls in...
KEEP READING - Monday, Apr 9 2007
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Article:A Ballad to my Breasts
The components of the body are incredibleThe arms, the legs, the backBut none quite so delightfulAs my huge, ginormous rack.And yes, before you ponder"Are they real or are they fake?"They are 100% all-natural:Of that, make no mistake.While it's...
KEEP READING - Monday, Apr 2 2007
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Article:Getting Some Wood on a Drunken Evening
(In the style of Robert Frost)Whose bed this is, I do not know.This house might be down on frat row;He will not see me leaving hereTo watch his morning boner grow.My little feet must think it queerTo be tip-toeing through this beerBefore I leave,...
KEEP READING - Monday, Mar 26 2007
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Article:
Ode on some Natty Ice
Thou cold unopened tin of pure splendor, Thou frosty gray tower of the Cheap Buzz,You are the source of our endless benders And memories of last night rimmed with fuzz. Frat house historian, whose dents and bruises Proclaim the ebb and flow...
KEEP READINGBy Chris Richman 10 likes
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26
- Monday, Mar 19 2007
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Article:A Poetry Slam Enthusiast Explains Beer Pong
Cups numbered ten on opposing sides,Beer flowing like the swelling tides.Not too much, it is early yet, hold it, hold it:Pong, pong, pong.A majestic pyramid laid horizontal, balls soaring,Gravity paints a furious arc as spheres slice through air,...
KEEP READINGBy Steve Horvath 10 likes
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12
- Monday, Mar 12 2007
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Article:Poetry Double-Header
Today's Poetry Corner features not one, but two poems from our readers -- a haiku for our Japanese friends, and a sonnet for our 400-year-old English friends. Enjoy!THE ART OF HAIKUby Dan VerdelA haiku storyIt is hard to make things fitSometimes,...
KEEP READING - Monday, Mar 5 2007
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Article:The Wingman's Ballad
I thought tonight I'd meet a ladyI thought I'd bring her homeI thought we'd spend the night togetherbut instead I sleep aloneMy buddy Steve had seen her firstI had no plans to interfereThey hit it off and left togetherand left me with my...
KEEP READINGBy DJNewStyle 28 likes
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31
- Monday, Feb 26 2007
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Article:
Ode to My Vibrator
Oh, eleven inch piece of plastic,So shiny and bright.You're all that's in bed with me,At the end of most nights.You're always there,I'm never in need.You never pressure or force me,Into doing the deed.You don't expect much,Sputtering and chugging...
KEEP READING - Monday, Feb 19 2007
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Article:"Bequeath unto me a Swisher Sweet, pray!" by the Black Guy in Front of Me at the Gas Station
Bequeath unto me a Swisher Sweet, pray! Hath God made more magnificent a scent? Not e'en the flowers of the most lavish bouquet Could make a man such as I so contentO, ambrosia! Sweet Wild Irish Rose!May your nectar reach deep to my soul The great...
KEEP READINGBy Vincent J Pussybody 22 likes
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27
- Monday, Feb 12 2007
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Article:
Beer Goggles: A Sonnet
After a horrid mix of beer and wine And too much time spent in a darkened barFrom the dense crowd emerged a woman fineAs cute as any, at least from afar. “She’s a nine, at least; nay, she’s even more!”My friends urged me on...
KEEP READINGBy Chris Richman 19 likes
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16
- Monday, Feb 5 2007
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Article:The Massacre: A Poem
50 Cent bit his lip as he hoisted his swordPreparing for the advancing, awful hordeComprised of vicious beasts, orcs and trollsOgres, dragons, rats, and even gnollsNo fear in his eyes, just gangsta beatsMithril armor around gangsta feetsThe 36...
KEEP READINGBy Alex Branson 12 likes
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