"Is she seriously just NOT going to make a pun?" Gov. Schwarzenegger asked his TV in disbelief.

The episode opens in Agent Danko's bathroom (sexy!), where he's in the middle of a shaving montage that's been filmed like an action scene for some reason. I guess it makes sense though - for anyone as frail as Capt. Corpse, every little mundane activity must seem fraught with mortal peril. One slip of the razor and his jugular might wheeze a few drops of his "blood" onto the tile.

Little does he know, a serial killer lurks in his apartment. But I guess since murdering Danko would at best grant Sylar the ability to Have Sunken-In Eyes, he just leaves a present instead: Doyle, literally wrapped in a bow.

"I've been waiting to use these cereal bowls since 2006."

Last Week on Heroes: "My girlfriend Daphne is faster than a speeding OH MY GOD SHE'S DEAD"

This Week: The Bennetts sit down to breakfast. Finally finding her niche as an actress, Hayden Panettiere successfully spoons cereal into her mouth in a convincing manner. Then she gets a secret text message from REBEL that says "MUST WARN TARGET," missing the part at the end that says "ABOUT THE LOW LOW PRICES AT WAL-MART." Her mom interrupts her lust for adventure with questions about her Ivy League aspirations. Noah asserts that he'd rather she enroll at a two-year technical school, because seriously it's Claire. But before she can even ask about the Costa Verde Community College cheerleading squad, she gets another text tells her that the TARGET is ALEX, and she can find him in a COMIC SHOP, and to STAY TUNED FOR A HOT NEW OPPORTUNITY FROM VERIZON WIRELESS.

"Do you guys think we'll get bunk beds?"

But the Twist is: My grandfather died so you're all a bunch of dicks.

This Week: We open at Tracy's house, where she's just returned home from banging another politician or ten. The phone starts ringing, and she manages not to blow any Senators on her way to go answer it.

Speaking of Congressmen, Tracy's ex, Nathan Petrelli, is on the news being equal parts vague and ominous about a new "threat to humanity." He means his fellow Heroes, of course, because if you'll remember, he switched sides for about the 837th time during the last 30 seconds of last season/volume/whatever. He says he plans to begin rounding up these "dangerous people" very soon, but won't specify who or why for fear of being immediately shot in the face by another time traveler. For consistency's sake he then proceeds to switch sides two more times before the end of the interview.

Literally the only screencap I could find. I think Peter stepped on Matt's turtle.

Last Week on Heroes: Last year on Heroes. The episode ended back in the present, though, with Arthur Petrelli digging his liver-spotted fingers into Hiro's facefat...

This Week: Instead of murderkilling the dorky glasses right off that increasingly useless walking DeLorean, Arthur just wipes his mind instead, until Hiro's personality regresses to that of a 10-year-old. So, pretty much the same, then. Thinking fast, Ando pinches his BFF's eyes shut until that somehow teleports the two of them to a Japanese bowling alley.

Not one to dwell on the mistakes of five seconds ago, Arthur is back at Pinehurst, where he tells Sylar that he doesn't *necessarily* have to treat brains like a Fisher-Price playset to gain someone's ability. Arthur then leads his son to a nearby cell, and chained up inside is none other than Electric Sarah Marshall, who we discovered last week has a thing for Suicidal Superpowered Serial Killers. Because who doesn't.

(insert geeky reference with a Japanese twist here)

This Week On Heroes: MohinderRoach trades off narrating duties to Nathan, who tries as blatantly as possible to describe this season's theme (AM I A HERO OR A VILLAIN?!). Nathan is still talking to Linderman the Friendly Ghost, as is Daphne. Daphne is instructed by Linderman to gather a team of villains for villainous purposes. She teams up with Knox and they manage to kidnap Adam Monroe, who has escaped from Hiro during a scuffle at a "superpowered Japanese cantina." She next targets Hiro and Ando, who declare that they are "badasses" now to get in with the villains. Just to make sure, Daphne tells Hiro to kill Ando, because he is worthless (until he gets his pink lightning power, at least). Hiro obliges, and stabs Ando through the chest. But...he has a plan right? He's going to get some Adam Monroe blood or something, right? Not so much.