Black Eyed Peas, My Humps

15. Black Eyed Peas, My Humps

"What you gonna do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk?/I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump."

Ah, "love drunk." The catalyst that has plunged many unfortunate men into the sorry world of love hangovers. Well, hey, that's what happens when you take one too many sips of hump.

Nickelback, Photograph

14. Nickelback, Photograph

"And what the hell is on Joey's head?"

Right off the bat, "Joey" is one of those names a brooding rock ballad would probably do best to steer clear from, especially when said brooding rock ballad is referencing him wearing a funny hat or something. Nickelback may get a proportionately unfair amount of hatred, but by the looks of things they're not in any hurry to change that.

Britney Spears,

13. Britney Spears, "Email My Heart"

"Email my heart and say our love will never die"

Britney Spears proved once again her position on the cutting edge of today's world by putting the word "email" in a single released in 1999. While the actual logistics of these lyrics are baffling (hearts don't receive emails, BRITNEY,) even more baffling is the lack of email-related love songs today. Get on it, everyone!


12. Madonna, "American Life"

"I'm drinkin' a soy latte/ I get a double shotie/ It goes right through my body/ and you know I'm satisfied./ I drive my mini cooper/ And I'm feeling super-duper/ Yo they tell me I'm a trooper/ And you know I'm satisfied"

As well as being inexplicably horrendous, these lyrics are performed by Madonna, which furthers the understandable notion that she's the worst person in the world. Not that that notion required any help, given how she won't shut up about drinking coffees and driving cars.

R Kelly, Trapped in the Closet: Chapter 7

11. R Kelly, Trapped in the Closet: Chapter 7

"Then he looks at her/she looks at me/I look at them/and we look at him"

What's the worst part of lyrics? Easy, the emotions. And too often these days, songwriters get caught up in trying to write something "interesting" or "emotionally driven." What a relief it is to hear R. Kelly do away with those deadweight details and stick to what everyone really wants: people looking at other people.