5. Podracing

"Hahahaha hey, remember when Darth Vader won the Podrace?" – George Lucas to people who just can't look him in the eye anymore.

Light Cycling

4. Light Cycling

Light Cycling is part all-out motor racing, and part strategy to military precision. It's also what people in the 80s thought using a computer would some day be like, which is hilarious. 


3. Pro-Bending

Sadly neither a reference to Futurama or a thing British people won't snigger at, Pro Bending refers to using your magical mastery of the elements water, earth, air, and fire to defeat your opponent. The injury time is pretty ridiculous. 


2. Quidditch

It should have come as no surprise that Hogwarts, easily the least safe school of all time, promotes a sport in which, at any given moment, every single player is hundreds of feet in the air being targeted by a variety of weapons/supernatural forces and there's seemingly no way anyone can ever be disqualified. 


1. Pokemon

With respect to our other competitors: duh. There was always going to be one winner. Pokemon is the ultimate fictional sport, satisfying both the desire to be locked in a strategic fighting game and to have awesome/adorable pets who are also your best friends. Especially because if you love Pokemon so much, you're for sure not going to have that many human friends.