V-Shaped pelvic muscle

5. V-Shaped pelvic muscle

I'm not entirely sure what this means but I'll bet anything Ryan Lochte has one.

A little scruff

4. A little scruff

We all know Brad Pitt looked great when we was rocking the long hair/full beard thing, but that just doesn't work for the average schlub. You're going to want to hit somewhere between a 90's Brad Pitt and a Now Christian Bale. Minus the debilitating rage.

Cleanliness

3. Cleanliness

Nothing beats a man who knows how to clean up except for two things.


Eyes

2. Eyes

You can tell a lot about a man by looking into his eyes. For instance: the colour of his eyes, or whether or not you find him sexy. I guess those are the main two things.

Funniness

1. Funniness

It's something we suspected all along: being funny is the fastest and surest way to become a desirable man, which finally explains why comedians are so often the most romantically fulfilled people. It's no surprise that laughter remains the world's most powerful aphrodisiac, as it's hard not to respect someone possessing the cognitive wherewithal to write comedy in all its forms: interesting blog posts, energetic stand-up, or snarky, obscure lists about sexiness. It's definitely equal, and it's now undeniably the sexiest.