We can all agree that classrooms work better as sitcom sets, so lets recognize the teachers we actually paid attention to.
The official voting period has ended. See the results below.
Total Votes: 424,854
Score = wins / total matches (recalculated every 5 minutes)
Position: Founder, Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters
What he taught us: That it's OK to be different, as long as that difference involves you sprouting wings or suffering from deadly, uncontrollable laser eyes, and that New York state superintendents must be either really dumb or really easy to bribe. Xavier focuses on mainly the fundamentals, which in this case means being able to fly his giant invisible jet. It's pretty much the greatest school ever, and makes being agonizingly experimented on and/or being cast out from society almost worth it. Almost.
Position: Jedi, Far, Far Away
What he taught us: To use the force, and never how to melt into nothingness the moment you're killed, only to be able to immediately come back as a psychic ghost, which seems useful and definitely something Luke could have done with.
Position: Archaeology Professor, Marshall College
What he taught us: That tenure rocks, because at any moment you very well please, you're allowed to pack up and leave on extended, unexplained international excursions and return whenever you feel like it. At least some of the time Jones brings along some kind of mentee to instruct, be it an underage racial caricature or his accident of a son (oops!) He also, along with Obi Wan (below), taught us to please, please leave good trilogies alone.
Position: Headmaster, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
What he taught us: Dumbledore was a man of few words. Which is great in some cases, but other times it can be like "Jesus Christ there are lives at stake, just tell Harry what to do and when and where he should do it because you OBVIOUSLY KNOW." Regardless, he was a man of honor and dignity who somehow was also able to maintain these characteristics while dressed in flowy purple robes. Bonus: he was created by JK Rowling, who taught us that withholding a frankly inconsequential character detail e.g. the sexuality of said character, is fantastic for book sales.
Position: Life Coach, a swamp
What he taught us: Not grammar/how to realize the strength and courage that was in your heart all along/flying a goddamn spaceship with your freaking mind. Yoda never let things like being a million years old or two feet tall get in the way of being an inspiring instructor or fearless warrior. For that reason, he's your choice for the best teacher of all time, and proof that just because your lead a simple and humble life (like, seriously humble(like, "tiny green mud monster living a life of exile" humble)) doesn't mean you can't extend your reach to a protege, and shape the destiny of the universe from the damp log of your primitive tree hut. His work was so thankless, and his final years so cruel, I'm coming round to the prequels if only for the fact he was able to battle some bad guys and jump around like a monkey. In fact, let's make a seventh Star Wars where Yoda puts on shades and says "class dismissed" at the end. George Lucas' legacy deserves it.