10. Anyone on The View
The View is great TV for people who like to watch women with stalling careers getting stuff wrong. From Jenny McCarthy, the Playboy model who says a wizard cured her son's immunization autism or something, to Sherri Shepherd, who was cool on 30 Rock once, the panel is a who's who of "wait, why are they qualified to talk about Benghazi?"
9. Glenn Beck
Continuing a theme of people who just say whatever and pretend it might be true, Glenn Beck's still allowed to host a "news" show and write "nonfiction" books. Not that anyone's been paying attention since he left real television to start his own network, which is the TV presenter equivalent of getting a blog. Yeah, Glenn Beck's annoying, but at least he's easy to ignore now. I had to check wikipedia to make sure he had continued to exist after 2010.
8. Donald Trump
What is there to be said about Donald Trump that hasn't already been said about any of history's other greatest monsters? It just feels like he's messing with us at this point, amassing a billion-dollar empire, plastering his name all over our cities, barking out insane decrees ten times a day (on twitter, but still). He's the closest we'll ever get to a real-life movie villain.
7. Bill OReilly
Wow, you guys really hate your Fox News, huh? No-one embodies the spirit of right wing TV punditry better than Bill O'Reilly, whose legendary rage is matched only by his confusion. Thanks to the internet, TV commentary is all but irrelevant now, which is good since it feels like O'Reilly gave up trying to understand the world long ago. Beneath those watery, murderous eyes lies a robot programmed only to point and yell.
6. Kanye West
Some perspective: Kanye West is really, really good at his job. That's pretty much it. He should still shut up a lot of the time. Also, a lot of Yeezus wasn't that good. ALSO, North is a dumb name for a baby. God, I feel so liberated. You can't control me, Kanye! Your twitter account is terrible! I'm free!
5. Fred from YouTube
Huh, this guy's still around? Checks the trailer for Fred 3 Wow, yeah, very annoying. Good call, guys.
P.S. THREE of them? Jesus Christ.
4. Perez Hilton
We kind of brought this one on ourselves by allowing someone with MS Paint and an eonline.com account to somehow turn that into a job. Not just a job, but one that made them famous. Ask not what makes Perez Hilton annoying (but since you did, Jesus, aren't celebrity gossip sites bad enough without the editor making it about them most of the time?), ask what you could have done to prevent it.
*Nope. **God, shut up.
3. Chris Brown
Chris Brown beat up his girlfriend. That's not 'annoying,' that's evil and stupid and deserving of jail time. He apologized, his girlfriend forgave him, and together they moved on. Not great but whatever. Since then, Chris Brown has spent his life doing nothing but awful things (including faking his community service from that time he beat up his girlfriend) then complaining that the criticism he gets for all his dumb bullshit is just lingering resentment from that one* mistake** he made a long time ago.
2. The Kardashians
The Kardashians aren't just annoying, they're depressing. They'll take fame and money over any kind of fulfilling life, allowing themselves to be watched and ridiculed for the rest of their lives if it means a contract with Sears. Are they even humans anymore? Are we so averse to the Kardashians simply because they force us to confront our own obsessions with success and celebrity? or is it just that Khloe's a real selfish knucklehead? Probably that last thing.
1. Justin Bieber
Of course the honor of being The Most Annoying Person Alive falls to Justin Bieber, the young Canadian with the voice of an angel and the personality of a belligerent 90 year-old Romanian woman. It's been a tough year for Justin: he broke up with his rich celebrity girlfriend a bunch of times, his monkey got detained, and he made some weird self-centered remark about Anne Frank, which, as a general rule, you really shouldn't do. By far my favorite story about Justin Bieber this year was the unnamed insider on his "crew" who claimed he made his posse watch the SNL episode he hosted over and over again, which is just so sad and perfect I can't stand it. Yeah, Justin Bieber sucks, but he's also 19. Everyone sucks when they're 19. One day he'll either grow up into a fine young man or burn out in a spectacular, public fireball. We look forward to either.