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The Morning After American Idol
Article:Season VII Top XXIV BOYS
[I skipped town for a little while on the ol' AI column because I'm generally pretty busy on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, and I just couldn't force myself to sit through 6 or 8 or however many hours of goofy audition bullshit. Plus those things...
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8 Comments
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11 months ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - THE WINNER
Length of episode: 2 hoursWhat happened: a lot of stuffWho showed up: the Top 12, the judges, Ryan Seacrest, Tony Bennett, Joe Perry, Taylor Hicks, Kelly Clarkston, Carrie Underwood, Smokey Robinson, Gladys Knight, some other black people who...
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10 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - FINALE!!!!
We're in the ginormous Kodak Theater, watching old footage of Jordin and Blake from the Seattle auditions and onward with the approximately 450,000,000 people who fill the venue tonight. I am reminded, during this montage down Memory Lane, just...
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6 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning Afer - American Idol - Eliminations During Which We Find Out Who Will Be in the FINALE, BITCHES!!!
So it's 9:06 EST, during the first commercial break of this, what is perhaps the most important Idol elimination since the invention of TV, eliminations, and American Idol. Normally I wouldn't watch the show until much later, when I can...
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7 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Final Three
Let's just get right to it. I'm sick of this bullshit.1. Jordin - Wishing on a StarI'm not in love with Jordin's hair tonight, but Simon chose this song (and, I assume, her wardrobe), and she does a good job with it, I guess. I don't know it at...
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6 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Week 11 Eliminations
My prayers were literally answered tonight, as Phil and Chris went home, leaving a Final Four that is 75% black and 75% female. Affirmative Action? Probably. The best Final Four ever? Definitely. Was it me, or at the beginning of the show tonight,...
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7 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Top 6 (Again)
I know what you're thinking: Top 6 again?! Boooo! I wanted to see the Top 5! I know, friend. Me too. But last week they decided not to send anyone home, so there are still 6 people here, and I still have to look at Phil's ugly mug. Unfortunately...
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18 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Worst. Episode. Ever.
You know that scene in The Princess Bride when Buttercup is dreaming that she's married to Humperdink, and she's dressed all pretty and walking out of the castle into the crowd, and everyone is cheering except for that one old hag who's going, "...
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10 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Top 6
This week is apparently Footage of Simon and Ryan Choosing Which Foreign Baby to Adopt to Raise as Their Own Week. Really it's some stupid special Idol Gives Back bullshit, which I am clearly really happy about. I don't care about donating money,...
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14 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol: Week 9 Eliminations
I've spent a long time thinking about what I would say when this day finally came. Weeks ago, I would have been righteous and jeering, screaming, "TAKE THAT, YOU CREEPILY-GRINNING LITTLE BOBBLE HEAD!" At first, weeks and weeks ago, when there were...
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15 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Top 7
The lucky se7en get down with their bad selves this week in a country tribute hosted by Martina McBride. Obviously hardly anyone likes country, especially Simon, so this should be fun.1. Phil - "Where the Blacktop Ends"Phil claims to like country,...
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19 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Week 8 Eliminations
AW HELL YES BITCHES! MY DAY HAS COME!Seriously, thank God for this. It's what's best for everyone. The Morning After on Vimeo
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11 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Week 7 Eliminations
You guys, tonight was the saddest night of my life. I had a video all ready for what I was certain would be Haley's inevitable dismissal, and then, of course, GINA had to go and fuck it all up. Thanks a lot, America! Now I have to wait one, maybe...
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10 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Top 9
Tony Bennett arrives to act as musical and spiritual guru for the nine Idolers who are left, which promises for a boring show, if nothing else. Mr. Bennett, winner of 15 Grammy Awards and Las Vegas's favorite octogenarian, claims that the music he...
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7 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Week 6 Eliminations
I made a photo montage to commemorate our loss of Chris Sligh. I'm a bad singer, so I guess you'll just have to deal with that. The Morning After on VimeoEditor's Note: How strange is it to hear Katie Marino's voice? Discuss.-Street!split
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92 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Top 10
I'm going to admit something to you, America. I used to be a huge fan of Tragic Kingdom. Back in 5th grade, as far as I was concerned, No Doubt could do No Wrong. Sometimes I look back on my 10-year-old, body-glitter-as-eye-make-up-wearing self...
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6 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Week 5 Eliminations
Well, America, I'm sad to report that the British Invasion is over, and just as Peter Noone and Lulu must sail back over the pond to their flats and lifts and loos, so must Stephanie Edwards make the long journey back to wherever it is that she's...
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7 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Top 11
Light two lanterns, America, because the British are coming! Yes, that's right, this week is BRITISH INVASION Week, and you have no idea how badly I wish I could make those letters be gigantic and flash red and blue. I happen to really like '60s...
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9 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Week 3: Eliminations
It's time to meet your Top 12, nation! Instead of writing about this episode, I've taken the liberty (because we're in America, where freedom rings) of graphically representing the results using my extra-good drunken Paint skillz. See if you can...
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5 Comments
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2 years ago -
The Morning After American Idol
Article:The Morning After - American Idol - Week 3: The Girls
Yesterday I compared the boys to a freshman dorm, and, if I do say so myself, that was probably a really great analogy. Somehow it doesn't translate for the girls. I think it's because I have trouble distinguishing one from the other, or from the...
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2 years ago