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Article:Jake Explains It All
Welcome back home. Summer vacation is in full swing- much like your flaccid penis. You've unpacked most of your crap, and you've watched 9 hours of baseball today alone, it's time to get out there and get your D wet. May I suggest your local pool...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
So you're sitting in your room right now. Your roommate is at class. He's not coming back for at least an hour and a half. You don't have anything to do the rest of the day. Sure you have a lecture this afternoon but you can get the notes from...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
Hey guys, sorry I've let your d*cks stay dry for this long. Let's not waste any more time. I've gotten you inside a plethora of women this year, but there's one girl we've been neglecting. And, friend, her time is now. It's time to bang your...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
So for Valentine's Day you wore a red t-shirt while you sat and masturbated on your computer. Well you're in luck my boner-achieved-from-actual-female-contact deprived friend. There is a way to cash in on post Valentine's Day ass.Find A Girl Whose...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
So you’re the nice guy, the guy who always accidentally becomes a girl’s best friend. The guy she goes to to complain about all the douche bags that treat her wrong. What these girls don’t know is that you secretly derive...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
This is an Untapped Resource to keep on the back burner, just to cover your bases. We've all been at family parties, bored out of minds, watching our Dad's get drunk and our sisters get eye-banged by our creepy uncles. Well now I've got...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
Welcome back to school. Welcome back to mini fridges and microwaves, bunked beds and shower sandals. Welcome back to brittle toilet paper and scrounging up change Wendy’s Chicken Nuggets. But most importantly, welcome back to the never...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
So vacation is almost over and you really need something to brag to your roommate about. Unfortunately all you've really done is have sex with your ex-girlfriend and then check her away message everyday to see if she used a Goo Goo Dolls quote (&...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
Ah, Winter Break. After just a few days you’ve realized everything you’ve taken for granted all semester. Cheap beer, really easy access to narcotics and, of course, a plethora of ripe, inebriated, and most importantly- willing,...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
Well you’ve had a productive semester. Not academically, but vaginally speaking, you didn’t do too bad. But this was the easy part. How are you going to get ass while you’re home? The answer is simple my friend: Turn to your...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
People on campus will tell you, "clubs are gay." You may have considered this sound advice since it came from your roommate, the gayest guy you know. The thing is, if all guys are operating under the assumption that all clubs are "...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
How many times have you skipped out on a study group to stay in your room and jerk off, eat Hostess cupcakes, then jerk off again using the cream filling for lubricant. Even if you haven't, doesn't that sound tempting? But there is indeed...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
So it's been a long week of avoiding papers, trying to fit 40's into your mini-fridge, and in all likelihood, masturbating feverishly every time your roommate goes to class. Well it's high time you ejaculated into vagina rather than a Kleenex,...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz -
Article:
Jake Explains It All
So you're in class when you realize you have a boner. "Oh no," you think, "I hope I don't get called up to the board!" Then you realize that this isn't 8th grade and that no one gets called up to the board anymore. After that you look around...
KEEP READINGBy Jake Hurwitz
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