I have yet to take a class that did not have the crazy girl in the front row. The one that always wore round, blue tinted glasses, dressed like an 80 year old woman would have dressed in 1950, and had long hair that she shed everywhere she went. And for some reason, although it may have been a different girl in each class, she was always dating the blind kid.

I can hear you responding to me: "Hey, crazy people can be fun." "Some of my best friends are crazy." "Crazy people have the best pills!" And yes, all of these statements are true, but there is good crazy and bad crazy.

Good crazy is the guy that pulls a loaded shotgun out of his closet and starts drinking beer through it halfway through a keg race. Bad crazy is the girl that inspires you to carry a felt-tip pen to class because you might go postal and kill her and/or yourself if you were armed with so much as a mechanical pencil.

Here are some crazy attributes that I think we've all seen:

She always relates the topic of the lecture, be it Nazism, Folklore, or M&M's, to her own fundamentalist belief in whatever faith she practices, which is usually a Christian church that is not affiliated with any mainstream denomination.

No matter what the topic of conversation, she has personal experience that relates to it. She has precisely located the best place to dig a well with a forked stick. She has seen a ghost. She met a president. Her family has a castle in Scotland. She survived cancer and, of course, her grandmother met Johnny Appleseed.

Rather than quietly walk out, or even inform the professor before class, she announces to the entire class that she has to go to the bathroom to take some medecine, but will be right back.

On average, she talks for 30% of the class period.

She carries her books around in one of those carry-on bags with wheels and the extending handle, thus allowing you to track her movements all over campus as the wheels of her "sachel" resound off of every building.

Do you know who I mean yet? She's usually friends with that complete douchebag that nobody else can stand to be around. You can usually find her staffing a "true love waits" table in the student union.

As if what she says weren't annoying enough, the way she says it is even worse. She will, without fail, have a squeaky, nasal voice with a whining quality to every word.

On the rare occasions that you actually get to participate in the class discussion that she is trying so hard to monopolize, she addresses you personally explaining not only why you are incorrect but how you have managed to offend her personally because in some way it relates to one of her relatives.

Crazy girl in the front row does, however serve a vital purpose. You are not the only one that cannot stand her. The entire class is so united in their hatred of this poster child for anti-psychotic medication in the front row that you band together to help each other deal with her, like a support group. In severe cases, you might even work out a rotation so that everyone has to spend an equal amount of time sitting next to her.

One last piece of wisdom: Have some fun with the crazy girl. Try agreeing with the most outlandish statement you've ever heard, just to see if she can outdo it with the very next sentence. Try to maintain direct eye contact throughout the entire class. Invite her to your party to lead a seance. My personal favorite thing to do is organize a group to get there an hour early for class just to take up the entire first row and watch her freak out.