Things I Am Not Familiar With, Due to the Fact That I Am a Non-Smoker

  • Having the immune system of a 4 year-old AIDS ridden African child
  • Immediate hatred for anyone who utters the words “smoking ban”
  • Having my teeth be a shade of "urinal cake stain” gold
  • Smelling like a musty pile of foreskin
  • Not having any money, ever
  • Stage 4 lung cancer
  • Gateway drugs
  • Being cool
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BFF

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