I Fought the Law

in 8th grade i was almost arested for selling fake pot at school to a kid and was kicked out of school for six weeks for selling some stuff i found on the ground

This is a story of when I first moved to Austria. I lived in the outer edge of town, and often walked just outside the boarder to catch a train back into the city because THAT was faster. The suburban area was really quiet at night and I felt really free when I'd be coming home at 3am or whatever, so I would often take little shortcuts and walk through places that weren't meant... Read More » for pedestrians. One night's morning, I'm unbelievably fucked up and I decide to walk on the tram tracks. 3am, no trams for a few more hours. Now, these tracks didn't share the road, so they were literally just tracks and I would practice my balance while listening to music. This one time I saw the classic police lights, which prompted me to look around to see what's going on. Sure enough, a police car was gently coasting along the road and the driver waived me over. He said, in dialect, "Are you bored?" but I didn't understand at the time, so I replied "Sorry, my German isn't so strong. What does that mean?". He replied with an Arnold Scharzenegger English, "In Austria, this is not allowed!" and he slammed the gas pedal and blew right through the next intersection - right through a red light. I walked on the sidewalk ever since. I'm also wondering if I should post this under "WTF".

When I was a junior in highschool randomly we would organize a fight club right after school. We would always get a huge crowd formed into a circle. One time the cops came and everyone ran off. I ran to a street a few blocks away with my friend. We thought we were in the clear, a cop drove up from behind and began talking to us. After a few minutes he messaged in on his radio "... Read More »I think I found the suspects". Me and my friend were extremly confused since we did nothing. He asked me to take off my jacket, I asked "why" he said "look kid we know you have the snake". I looked at my friend extremely confused. So I took off my jacket and he searched me, he than asked "wheres the snake" we were so confused. After he took all of our info down he let us go. It turns out the same time fightclub was going on two people robbed the pet store, they stole a snake. Apparentely we looked exactly like the suspects.

My friends and I bought a hookah around October, and being the fine, upstanding citizens that we are, we only smoke it outside, and not in our dorms, exactly twenty feet away from the door to our building. Now we, being college students, also love bud, and have been known to occasionally put some mary-j in our bowl along with the shisha. We've always gotten away with this, as... Read More » the fruity smell of the hookah tobacco covers up the weed stank. Now, our campus has "campus safety officers" that ride around campus at night on these weird-ass three wheeled segways, making sure that there is no wrong-doing on campus during the dark, cold hours here in Minnesota. One of these officers in particular, who shall henceforth be referred to as "Oaf," has nearly caught my friends and I smoking weed on multiple occasions. So a couple of nights ago, we decided to load up the hookah, and having no house parties to go to with it, are left outside in the cold Minnesota winter smoking the hookah. After about twenty minutes, the bowl is nice and rolling, and fruity clouds of smoke are drifting away from us on the chilling breeze; and as quickly as they are blowing away from us, a figure on a segway is rolling towards us. Oaf. We instantly know that we could very possibly land in some deeeep shit, but we decide to play it cool. "Evening boys. Isn't it a bit cold to be outside with that contraption?" "Well, uh, we don't think so. We kinda like it." "Y'know, when I was in college, I took a trip to Egypt over the summer, and I smoked one of those. Do you fellas mind if I take a draw?" Well, of course we minded! Oaf was going to catch us red-handed if he tasted weed in the bowl, and we would wind up in a heap of trouble. But, before we can say anything, Oaf grabs one of our hoses and takes a GIGANTIC draw. It has to have lasted at least ten seconds. After exhaling his smoke, he just tells us "Wow. That's a really nice, strong flavor. You guys have a good night now," and then he scooted away. I still can't believe we got away with it, and I'm sure Oaf had a fantastic rest of his evening, as we did ours.

I had just gotten my real license 3 weeks earlier (after 6 months of a learners permit) and was out driving to my friend's house. I was in a quiet residential area out of the way, so I figured it would be fine to break the speed limit by about 10-15 mph since there were surely no cops around. But sure enough, I blazed past a police car, all the while doing 40 in a 25. There go... Read More » the lights and the siren. Something impulsive spurred me to take evasive action, or perhaps knowing I would have to go to court for an under-18 speeding ticket, I decided to quickly take the next right onto a residential street. I pulled into some random driveway, turned off the car and the headlights, and slouched down in my seat. I had a decent lead on the police car and by the time it caught up, I just looked like another empty Honda sedan parked in white collar suburbia. The cruiser flew past me in pursuit of a nonexistent speeder, while I sat in some stranger's driveway and waited for the near-heart attack to subside.

"The cops don't forgive shit." - My mother at our recent family dinner