My one guy roommate and his friends would always drink my beer from the house fridge when we had parties. I got really mad last year when it was budlight lime, completely sold out and I had got the last pack. I decided to mix lemonade with my piss and "refill" all the bottles. Strangely there were no complaints and they just acted like they usually do when they are drunk...... Read More » fail or win?

Over spring break, my roommate went home and accidentally left his door unlocked. We got together 6-8 people, bought nearly 1000 balloons, blew them up, and filled his room from wall to wall, ceiling to floor with them. He got home, and he could barely open his door because of how full it was. It took him weeks to get all of the random balloon shards out of his room.

My roommate likes to have sex in my bed even though his bed is right next to it and he is just kind of an asshole. So one night he invited this girl he was trying to get with over and she brought a friend. At 3 in the morning when she was laying in his bed wanting to hook up he ditches her to go hang out with another girl. So even though I'm trying to get with her friend I... Read More » have to spend an hour trying to get him back for her and covering for him. She eventually falls asleep and I get a handjob in his bed. I accidentally came on his pillow and didn't tell him and I got one of his clean shirts to have her clean herself up with. Then I put the shirt back in his clean clothes pile.

After coming back from my combat deployment overseas I moved in with some friends of mine who are pretty awesome. I also took a night shift job while going back to college. But the neighbors are a nightmare. For starters they are all fat and delusional, and basically bitchy. Imagine if you will a disgustingly obese woman (we are talking 300+ pounds) who thinks she is a... Read More » slender sexy model because they can get some drugged up alcoholic to sleep with them. Those are our neighbors. Aside from leaving their trash in our yard and waking me up in the middle of the day because of their bullshit, the line was drawn when they started calling my girlfriend an ugly slut (I actually have an attractive girlfriend, she used to model). So I started getting my revenge in subtle ways. On Independence Day my roommate and I got drunk and shot fireworks at their car in hopes of blowing it up, And lately I have taken to shooting birds off the fence with a pellet rifle and throwing the carcasses in their yard, i get around 10 a day. I have gotten pretty good, and as a result I have maxed my shooting score in the Army.

Hey Karla. Remember when you dissed me for being agnostic. Remember "pretending" to make it up to me by going to a party together, only to have it be a stupid church outreach get together which revolved around me. Well little miss goody-two-shoes. Remember when your parents stopped putting money into your account. Remember when they came over to our dorm and yelled for the... Read More » whole building to hear how they were no longer paying for your college. Here's why. When you had sex in our room, with my friend...he taped it. Your parents saw you having sex you dirty whore...it obviously wasn't your first time. Maybe your pleads to go to A&M or Baylor will work on your parents, but with the GPR you're leaving with, expect your rejection letter shortly. PS...Taylor says to go to the gyno ...oh, and what your priest told me I tell to you, forget the hope of being accepted in heaven as well.

After your crappy friends kept me up all night for an entire semester to play Spin the Bottle at 4AM (who still plays that? Seriously?) I hope you got the message when I did everything in my power to make sure you never, ever wanted to stay in our room. If you ever wonder why I was such a cold jerk to you, it's because I was sick of suffering during tests and midterms... Read More » because you and your damn friends had to camp outside my door in our suite instead of just using the public lobby. If you're wondering why they all hated me, it's because it was me that had them thrown out of the building. And yeah, I totally laughed at you when your friends got you arrested on drug possession. I know you hadn't been involved in anything like that before you had to spend practically all your time with your terrible friends. I'm not really sorry that you ended up paying for me to have an extra-sized single room and you had to room elsewhere. I hope you'll learn your lesson and be a little nicer to the guy who you have to live with and a little more firm with friends that always get you in trouble and piss off the guy that's alone with your stuff. By the way, your digital camera is nice. I consider it reparations for you inviting your friends over every night, and making me pass out while taking a midterm.